The significance of self-engagement in international dating

When it comes to conversations on a date, some men tend to utilize self-amusement to look funny and interesting, but when that’s done incorrectly, men can look try-hard or needy. In order to help you find love via international dating, I’d like to point out the importance of self-engagement in conversations on a date.

• What if she talks about something boring?

Sometimes a lady can be boring on a date while talking about a dull topic. In this case, you can change the subject. Remember, it’s actually okay to interrupt if the topic is not engaging because your goal is to be engaged on the date – in this way, the date is more likely to be successful.

In truth, it’s not rude to interrupt if your intention is good (your intention is to make the date more meaningful.) Please have a look at the example here.

HER: “I have 20 lipsticks from Clinique, MAC and Elizabeth Arden. People say a woman only needs 3-5 lipsticks, so I’m just wondering if my lipstick collection isn’t ideal….”

YOU: “You know what, I just realized that the other day I found a book written by someone that I know.”

Then you talk about the fun book and the interesting author, thereby leading the conversation to a more engaging direction. (Please note that if you are bored, eventually she will be bored by the boring date, too.)

• What if you run out of things to say?

In actuality, you only run out of things to say when you are in an uncomfortable situation or when you are not sure about the validity of what you would say. Indeed, when you are hanging out with your best friend, you never run out of things to say.

Also, if you are the leader of an interaction, you wouldn’t run out of things to say. I’d like you to be the leader of the date: Make plans in advance; prepare topics to talk about; prepare stories to tell her; know what to do after the date. If you are the leader consistently, you will definitely find a great relationship via international dating.

Sometimes you should ask her high-quality questions. For example, when Ben and Angela went out for their first date, Ben asked Angela, “You seem to be very artistic and highly creative. So, what do you do for a living?” (This question isn’t like a part of an interview because Ben has offered insights into Angela’s character first. As a result, it’s not a value-taking question; it’s a value-adding question. In other words, when a standard question is asked in a value-offering way, it becomes a good question.)

Another method of making the date more engaging is to use statements to replace questions tactfully. For instance, Ben said, “You don’t seem like you are from Central Europe. Based on the way you carry yourself, you seem like someone from Eastern Europe.” (This is so much better than asking, “Where are you from?”)  Note that instead of asking a question, Ben answered the question first, so what he said is a bit intriguing. No wonder Angela was very engaged on the date.

“Looking forward to more insights into international dating? Be sure to check out other posts on this blog today.”

Julia K

Julia loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Julia is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.