Dating should feel exciting, not stressful. A healthy way to approach dating helps you enjoy the process, build real connections, and avoid unnecessary heartache.
Many men have read books about the importance of being alpha, so they think that’s the right way to attract women. But in fact, most of them don’t know what being alpha really means, so they actually become needy, low-value, and reactive in this process. In this blog article, I’d like to share with you a healthy way to approach dating and relationships.
The truth about your frame when you approach dating
Your attitude and beliefs shape your dating experiences. If you see dating as a struggle, it will feel that way. But if you approach it with confidence and a sense of curiosity, you’ll naturally attract better connections.
“I don’t want to pay for drinks or dinner when I go on dates with women,” says Linus, “I don’t want to lose my frame.” Linus is a handsome and successful man in his early 40s. Although theoretically, he is a very attractive man, it seems that he can’t attract/keep a lady.
Further examination reveals that Linus is too rigid. He strongly believes that to be an alpha guy, he has to keep his frame at all times. However, as a matter of fact, he doesn’t hold his frame; his frame holds him. If he actually holds his frame, he should be able to put it down and pick it up at any time.
There is nothing wrong with paying for a drink/dinner when a guy goes on a date with a woman. Linus is actually insecure about his frame—he is just rigid. As I see it, a man who succeeds in dating and relationships would win the war. He doesn’t win every battle. He knows that attraction is often a trade-off. When he builds value, he might lose some comfort; when he builds comfort, he might lose some value. For example, when he sets boundaries, there is less comfort in the relationship. When he is very committed, his girlfriend may wonder why he is so nice—is he high-value enough?
What is “alpha”?
Being “alpha” isn’t about dominance or control—it’s about confidence, self-assurance, and emotional stability. A true alpha man doesn’t seek validation; he knows his worth and attracts people naturally.
In theory, being an alpha guy is about being the most capable, the strongest man. Yet in reality, being an alpha guy is about being a high-value guy who shares his value. In other words, the alpha guy brings more value to the relationship. Meanwhile, his girlfriend brings unique value that he couldn’t generate by himself. He brings her up to his level.
In the beginning, your girlfriend needs to know that you are a high-value guy. You are willing to walk away because you have options; you have high standards. But after the initial stage, you’ll have to build some comfort so that she knows she can be with you in the long term.
Ready to learn more about dating and relationships? Check out other blog posts on this website now and discover more inspiration today!
Looking for a meaningful connection with a Ukrainian woman? Ukraine Brides Agency makes international dating simple and enjoyable. Sign up today and start your journey toward a genuine relationship!
Julia loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Julia is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
Commenting rules
Members comments are welcome and we encourage comments and discussions.
We ask that you put some thought in to your posts and that you follow these commenting rules and guidelines:
Failure to comply with these rules may result in your comment not being published.