International Dating: Should You Play Hard To Get?

There is a popular myth: if you play hard to get, women will like you more. Maybe this applies to Western culture to some degree, but it doesn’t apply to international dating.

The Myth: Women Want A Man Who Is Hard To Get.

This is actually a fallacy.

I can guarantee that this fallacy only leads to stressful relationships and unhappiness. Let’s have a look at some common “hard-to-get scenarios” in the realm of international dating:

1. If an Eastern European woman doesn’t respond to your message within 72 hours, you shouldn’t send her another message.
2. You don’t respond to her message within 12 hours.
3. When she wants to make plans with you, you become elusive.
4. You pretend to be busy when you are not busy at all.

If any of the above scenarios have happened in your love life, you are doing it wrong. I understand why this fallacy looks great: “I should make myself the prize. That will make her try to win me. She will put a lot of value on a man that she has to work hard for.” However, this fallacy leads men to manipulate relationships, shut themselves out from letting Eastern European ladies discover who they are, and even hide their feelings and emotions. This fallacy only creates a fake “tough nut to crack” persona.

In some cultures, men and women often play mind games with each other. For example, you tell a woman that your schedule is full when you are not even busy; you make sure she sends you the last text message at night; you cancel plans with her in order to look elusive or even high-value.

Now you may wonder, “The harder I am to get, the more she wants what she can’t have. Isn’t that right?”

In the beginning, that can happen. Nonetheless, there is a further step and you will soon find out that once you finally give her what she wants, it will not look so good anymore. Therefore, this is actually a cat-string theory, i.e. if you dangle a string above a cat, the cat will keep clawing at the string (trying to get the object). When you finally give up the elusive string, the cat does not want the object any longer. Sad, but true!

Now you’ve understood the nature of hard-to-get: this fallacy only attracts an Eastern European lady to the process rather than to you! It attracts her to the idea of having you, yet when she finally gets you, she will begin to question if she was that bothered in the first place. Hopefully, it’s now crystal clear to you.

Some Western men even think, “That means I simply need to keep playing mind games with her in order to keep her wanting me for the rest of my life.” Therefore, they play mind games, never really give themselves to a relationship for fear of “losing their power”, and even withdraw into themselves for no reason whatsoever.

Obviously, this is not the best way to find happiness in any relationship. As a matter of fact, only two types of women will stay married to men who play hard to get:

1. A woman who plays the same game.
2. A woman with lots of insecurities.

At the same time, confident, high-value, and elegant women from Eastern Europe will have these behaviours instead:

1. After being confused and assuming you are not interested in them, they will just give up, and move on.
2. They become bored by your game, and they will move on.
3. They think you are rude and they will move on.

Forget the “hard-to-get” game; and actually, be a high-value guy when trying out international dating!

Hard-to-get only makes having you the prize. Once a woman gets the prize, she has won the game you are playing with her. It is not a meaningful relationship in the long term. Note that Eastern European brides are looking for meaningful, long-term and sustainable relationships.

Hence, there must be a better way to become an attractive man – What ladies from Eastern Europe really want is a gentleman who is actually high-value.

You read that right. It’s very simple. Eastern European brides want to meet high-value men instead of men who are hard to get. It might take daily commitment to work at ingraining this into your character in the long run.

A high-value man devotes his efforts to becoming actually exciting and having a wonderful lifestyle. In the long term, this is exactly what makes an Eastern European woman believe a guy is genuinely special and worth marrying. In this way, she will understand that the prize is not about getting you only; the prize is about building a real relationship with a great guy. A high value man would also realise that international dating is a commitment that requires both sides to show interest and effort. International dating requires earnest effort, and only someone serious about their journey to love would realise this.

Unlike hard-to-get, a high value gives you the permission to be genuine and sincere. In contrast, hard-to-get only relies on telling men to hide who they really are or express a cold persona to hide their true intentions. Clearly, playing hard-to-get comes from a place of insecurity rather than a position of strength.

You must change your behaviour if you are doing the following:

First of all, if you pretend to be busy, you are not high-value. Faking being busy means faking being interesting and exciting. Truthfully, if you pretend to have a wonderful lifestyle, you are not really building a truly wonderful lifestyle that attracts Eastern European mail-order brides. You need to actually build a varied, amazing lifestyle with good friends that keep you busy and active. Don’t pretend to be busy! Remember: fakers will be found out. Especially so when you’re trying out online dating.

Second, if you are seeking validation, stop it. The essence of playing hard-to-get is a position of fear and weakness. Most men who play hard-to-get suffer from low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Sadly, many dating gurus teach men to play hard-to-get in Western countries. In actuality, these men want women’s attention to make themselves look sufficiently confident.

Third, if you are waiting for women to pay attention to you, you must stop waiting and start creating. Note that hard-to-get puts men in a weak and powerless state. Instead of letting you make things happen and create opportunities, hard-to-get teaches you to wait for a woman to pay attention to you.

What you need to do from now on:

In the first place, you need to be internally validated. By that I mean a high-value guy derives true confidence from himself because he doesn’t hope that a woman will come and give him all his self-esteem.

In the second place, you should build an amazing lifestyle. If your lifestyle is already amazing, make it even more amazing! Remember that high-value men have interesting lifestyles that excite them every day. High-value men are proud of their desirable lifestyles. If there is something that he wants to try, he won’t wait until his friends do it as well because he just does it regardless.

A high-value guy leads his own life.

Take charge of your own life and don’t play hard to get. Navigate the international dating pool with honesty and integrity and we’re certain that you will feature on our success stories very soon. In the meanwhile, make sure to sign up with Ukraine Brides Agency for more insightful and prudent observations about the world of international dating!

Olga P

Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.