Interview with Krystyna Trushyna, Ukrainian Dating Blogger

It is with great pleasure that I introduce Krystyna Trushyna to our followers. Krystyna is a Ukrainian dating blogger and Youtube video coach. Krystyna created Ukrainian Dating Blog in August 2010 and has written more than 1,000 articles, published 3 e-books, produced about 60 video tutorials and responded to more than 3,000 letters from her blog readers.

It was a pleasure to finally meet Krystyna at a recent iDate International Dating Conference in Cyprus and to find that we shared many of the same ideas, values and beliefs regarding the Ukraine dating industry and to talk about how foreign men and Ukraine women can find love using internet dating.

Keith: Hello Krystyna! Thank you for agreeing to contribute your thoughts to our followers at Ukraine Brides Agency. You have a wealth of knowledge and expertise and we are delighted that you will share some of this with our followers.

Krystyna: Hello Keith. Thank you very much for this splendid opportunity to share my insight and ideas with your readers. It is a great honour for me as a blogger because Ukraine Brides Agency is one of the most popular and established marriage agencies in the Ukrainian dating industry. Furthermore, it was very nice to meet you in person in Cyprus.

Keith: Krystyna, you have been writing your blog, as well as e-books and creating videos for over 6 years, offering advice to men and Ukraine ladies who look for international love. What prompted you to start this service?

Krystyna: Hmmm… What motivated me to become a Ukrainian dating blogger? Well, I have always been interested in intercultural relationships and online dating (I studied intercultural communication and socio-linguistics at the University of Frankfurt). Additionally, back in 2010 I started dating a German man, my husband Daniel, and it was my surprise that Daniel had no idea about my Ukrainian culture and mentality. He knew nothing, really nothing. And then I experienced a lot of Ukrainian-German couples with the same intercultural problems and concerns.

At that moment, I got a simple motivation to create a blog to share my intercultural dating experience with Western men in order to give some tips and advice on how to date Ukrainian women as well as to let them understand the special features of our culture, mentality, traditions and family values. In 2012, I created UkrainianDatingStories.com. It is some kind of Ukrainian dating magazine with news, user reviews, expert interviews and videos.

Keith: You used internet dating before you were married. What were the good points and the bad points about internet dating during that time?

Krystyna: My first experience with internet dating started in 2004. I was single and wanted to build a relationship with a Western man. Western men seem to be special and different from Eastern European men. Internet dating offered me endless possibilities to find love. I communicated with men from the USA, Australia, Belgium, Italy, Greece and England. So it was the good thing about Internet dating.

One of the negative points has been a scam. Yes, you may not believe but Ukrainian women can get scammed, too. Surprise, surprise! Sex tourists, adventurers or socially awkward people tried to get in touch with me and start online dating. Male customers have not been checked as female ones. Therefore, it was sometimes problematic and uncomfortable to use online dating sites.

Keith: You are married to Daniel and you now live, with your family in London. Daniel is German – did you meet him through internet dating? What language and cultural problems did you have to overcome when you first married?

Krystyna: No, we met each other very traditionally – at work! As I said before, we met in 2010 in Frankfurt. At that time I finished my studies at the Goethe University of Frankfurt and started to work as an account manager at a digital marketing agency based in Frankfurt. So basically we did not have any language barriers because I could speak German fluently.

On the other hand, we had plenty of cultural problems. Daniel was shocked by my temperament and eagerness to cook him food. He told me that his German ex-girlfriend had never done it. For my part, I was overwhelmed that Daniel was very shy. He did not know how to deal with me. I wanted Daniel to win me, to be a real man and the head of our relationship. He did not know how to do it. He said that German women would not allow that because they are emancipated and do not want a relationship with the traditional roles of a man and a woman.

So we have to find some kind of compromise in our relationship. It has been hard work to build a long-term intercultural relationship but we make it. We accept both cultures in our family. We always visit two families, namely: his family in Germany and my family in Ukraine.

Keith: There are thousands of Ukraine ladies using dating sites to find a foreign husband. What motivates these ladies to search for a foreign husband?

Krystyna: The answer is more than simple! They are looking abroad for what they cannot find in their own home countries, namely: HUSBANDS! In Ukraine and Russia, there are far more Ukrainian women than there are men. The official score of females to males is 10 to 9 in Ukraine. And not every man in these countries is marriage material.

I would say that Ukrainian women believe that Western men have the potential to be better husbands and fathers than when compared to Eastern European men. The women believe that Western men are more caring and supportive of their women, which is also true.

Keith: What features and characteristics do Ukraine women look for in a man when they use a marriage site, such as Ukraine Brides? What are the most important factors that attract a Ukraine lady to a foreign man?

Krystyna: Like all women, Ukrainian ladies have a long list of attributes and qualities they desire in a husband. Of course, physical data (height, weight, age, body, etc.) play an important role in the choice of a future husband. But social attributes and a charming, compatible personality play a more significant role in this process. A good sense of humour, respectful behaviour, leadership skills, and being an alpha male are attractive to many women. Just ask yourself, if you were a beautiful, educated and family-oriented woman from Ukraine, would you date yourself? If yes, so you have a very good chance to find this woman.

Keith: What advice do you give to foreign men when they look for a Ukrainian wife? What are the key ingredients to achieve success?

Krystyna: My Ukrainian dating advice is simple:

1. Be positive. If you start your Ukrainian dating adventure with the idea that all Ukrainian women are scammers and dishonest, you will have no chance to find a woman for life. Believe me. Not all women are looking for a sugar daddy. Not all women are looking for a green card. Not all international women are looking for money.
2. Be realistic. Stop feeding into unrealistic expectations for who the girl is going to be. Most real Ukrainian women are going to have a few pounds on them. Most real Ukrainian women are going to be a bit curvy. Most Ukrainian women are not size 0.
3. Get an exact idea of what you are looking for. What language(s) should she speak? What sort of profession does she have? Would it be preferred if she didn’t have a job? How old is she? What kind of lifestyle does she have (party, or rather quiet)?

Ukrainian online dating is tough enough as it is. It’s better not to add insult to injury. Guys, these above tips are more or less meant to be a guide, a guide to take very seriously. Keep your mind geared more towards reality, not the fantasy of it all.

The key ingredients to achieving success are learning about Ukrainian dating culture and intercultural differences and preparing yourself for this process. Are you ready to deal with intercultural differences in a Ukrainian-Western marriage? A lot of Western men start looking for Ukrainian women for marriage without any idea about Ukrainian dating, Ukrainian women and their culture.

Are you prepared to travel to meet your Ukrainian lady in the next 6-12 months? The woman expects from you too that you are making plans to go and visit her in her native town. You should not begin any correspondence with Ukrainian women until you’re sure if you’re ready for this step or not.

Are you financially stable enough to support a Ukrainian wife? You should know that your wife needs a lot of time to integrate into her new country. Therefore, you should think about the level of security and financial support you can offer your future wife.

Keith: Many men travel to Ukraine to meet the lady and often come unprepared and fail when some advice, training and a little research would have made the trip much more successful. What are some of the common mistakes that men make and what advice do you give to assist them to cement their relationship?

Krystyna: As you already mentioned in your questions, one of the most common mistakes that men make is coming to Ukraine absolutely unprepared for the first date with a Ukrainian woman. That means men have no idea what they should talk about with a woman. Politics, the economy and your job situation back home are about as interesting as the dripping of a leaky tap. What I want to say is that they’re not only boring, but they also grate on our ears when we listen too closely. I remember I had a date with a German man when I was 22 years old. He started a conversation about his job with so (maybe too) many details (his contract, his responsibilities, and his professional future). He talked about his job for about 40 minutes. I was bored, honestly. It was our first and last date.

Having shoddy clothes is the next common mistake that men make. Men who want to date beautiful Ukraine women should know that we women expect the reverse, too. I had a date with an American guy who came to our first date wearing his around-the-house jeans and a moth-holed sweater. It was rather a negative impression for me.

Some men consider Ukrainian women to be a scammer because women expect men to pay for them. But the fact is if you are meeting a Ukrainian woman on the internet it is likely you’ll be expected to pay for any travelling expenses she may incur during the relationship. Men are seen, in Ukrainian culture, as the strong, breadwinners. A man who refuses to, or isn’t capable of paying for dates is seen as being unattractive and less masculine than a man who happily pays for the expenses.

Keith: How important is it that the man and the lady communicate before they meet? What should they find out about each other before they agree to meet?

Krystyna: Of course, online communication is very important because it is your first step to getting to know each other. Exchanging a barrage of emails, phone calls or Skyping gives you the first estimation if this person is a possible match or not. However, it is essential to remember that online dating is only the first step, merely a minor part of the Ukrainian dating process.

In my opinion, a period of messaging is surely reasonable, but Western men actually shouldn’t wait too long to arrange a meeting with a Ukrainian lady. Communication on online dating sites is nothing more than a fact-finding mission. You can collect information about the Ukrainian woman, but until you meet her you won’t know if your communication has a future or not.

What should the man and woman find out about each other before meeting in person? Well, it is more or less individual. I would say it makes sense to find out if the lady shares your characteristics of a healthy and happy relationship and if you are on the same page when talking about spending time together and the future (e.g. children, financial future, hobbies, the same sense of humour, loyalty, family values, friends, etc.). If the woman is completely the opposite of your personality, think about if you can be together with her and take this challenge.

Keith: What should men consider and factor into the expectations of a lady when she is ready to marry and relocate outside of Ukraine? What is important to her and vital to her in making the right decision and being happy with that decision?

Krystyna: First of all, the Ukrainian woman expects to build a family and have a supportive, sensitive and understanding husband in a new country. I have experienced Ukrainian women relocating to Germany and UK and hoping to get support in integrating into a new country’s lifestyle. But their husbands have not understood their woman’s worries and emotions. Very usually, the woman feels lonely in her new country, she does not speak the language of her husband, and she has no friends with whom she could talk. I am a Ukrainian woman who lived in Germany for about 12 years and I have to mention that the first two years in the new country are the most difficult for immigrants.

The woman has to be sure that her future husband is mature for having an intercultural marriage. You should show a lot of patience, understanding and tolerance. Western men must be aware that their Ukrainian wives could be unhappy and miss their country, family and friends desperately (possibly within the first few months). You should be very patient with your Ukrainian spouse during this “loneliness” period. If she feels that her partner loves her and cares for her, the first period passes quickly. Emotional and psychological support is a very important part of your wife’s integration.

Keith: There are many dating sites for men to choose from when searching for a Ukraine wife. What features of the site should a man consider when he chooses a dating site? What are the indicators of a good site and what features, or lack of features, should concern him?

Krystyna: There are some features of online dating sites to consider, namely:

• Their reputation (Before you sign up with any site, you should do your homework. It is important to look for information about the site including any reviews available from former customers),
• Services (translation, gifts, VIP-matchmaking, etc.),
• Anti-scam policy,
• Clear price strategy (no hidden costs),
• Direct contact possibilities should be allowed,
• Checking the female profiles (if the photos look photoshopped and all the women are top models, be careful about your decision to sign up on this site).

A reliable dating service should contain all the metrics mentioned in the list above. That means it should have a positive image and reviews, a range of services to guarantee premium customer experience, real brides’ profiles and a strong anti-scam policy.

Keith: Internet dating is currently experiencing a boom as more men and women use the internet to find love. What are your thoughts on the future of international internet dating and men and women relocating to different countries to build a life and family together?

Krystyna: International online dating has unquestionably the future!  I believe Intercultural online culture will go in the direction of mobile applications and traditional matchmaking agencies. Online dating sites with video chats and pay-per-message services will lose relevance and popularity among online daters.

The market for matchmakers and marriage agencies will always exist because the assurance of love and happiness tolerates everything, also scams and expensive prices for dating services. The International internet dating industry is very flexible and adaptable because our hunger and desire to not be lonely will always build a fundament of this service. International online dating will still open Western men up to a wider pool of Ukrainian brides.

Keith: Krystyna, you provide your blog services to assist men (and ladies) to find love and to offer advice to make their journey successful. What gives you the greatest pleasure from your blog work and what are your hopes for the future of Ukraine dating?

Krystyna: The biggest pleasure of my Ukrainian dating blog is getting letters from my readers with words of gratitude. The words that due to my dating tips and advice some of my readers could find the Ukrainian woman of their dreams motivate me so much. My readers tell me that they would like to thank me for my articles which are useful to them. What else can bring greater pleasure to me? Only the words of thankfulness and appreciation. My biggest hope is to continue helping men to find love, writing articles and taking video tutorials. That is all!

Keith: Krystyna, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with our followers. We are always looking for ways to assist our members to find love and happiness and your advice and thoughts are very much appreciated. On behalf of all the members of the Ukraine Brides Agency, thank you!

Krystyna: Thank you very much, Keith, for this great opportunity. I hope that my answers can help your readers to get a clearer knowledge about Ukrainian dating. I had great fun to reply your questions. Spasibo! For your inspiration: “To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything.” Themis Tolis

Learn more about the world of international dating, online dating, and even what it takes to date a Slavic woman on our website, Ukraine Brides Agency! Register now to start your journey to find your true love today!

Nadezhda K

Nadezhda is a romantic who enjoys writing poetry and painting. She loves travelling and experiencing different cultures. In her free time, she volunteers at local shelters, practices yoga, and loves quiet moments with a good book and a cup of herbal tea.