Online dating advice: What is dating burnout?

July 30, 2020 at 10.38am by in Slavic Women
online dating advice

Some daters claim that they can’t see any hope after trying so hard in the dating department – that is dating burnout. Now I’d like to talk about what causes dating burnout and how to minimize its influence.

The real reasons behind dating burnout:

Usually, there are two main reasons for dating burnout: 1) People join the dating scene with very unrealistic expectations such as “The next woman that I talk to has to be the woman that I will definitely marry”. 2) People choose the wrong focus, e.g. sending messages back and forth without having a video chat, going out with candidates that they are not really attracted to, not enjoying other areas of their lives, etc.

Some men complain about how hard dating is or even argue that they’ve already lost hope. Yet that is actually caused by their cynical attitude rather than the reality of Internet dating.

There are many false beliefs that dominate a lot of guys’ thoughts, i.e. “There are not enough great women out there”, “Nobody can find serious relationships online” and “I will never meet a wonderful woman again.” These are all false beliefs that create mental blocks. So, please do not internalize any of these dangerous beliefs.

Frankly, if you experience dating burnout, you just need to take a break, and that’s okay. Simply do something that energizes you, something wholesome. Surround yourself with family and friends who encourage you. Explore a new interest or hobby. It’s perfectly normal to have a rest!

During the break, you keep working on yourself.

Never stop working on yourself because you can always improve some areas of your life. Now I’d like you to do a fun activity: deliver a speech in front of a camera and watch your own video. Observe how you come across in the video. Do you need to say “like” less frequently? Should you stop scratching your head while thinking about what to say next? These habits can apparently be changed if you think it’s necessary.

I recently interviewed a Ukrainian lady who works in the online business industry. She is also taking a break after dating burnout. During this break, she started a successful business in Ukraine.

“What do you consider a significant business challenge in your country today, and how do you propose to address it?” I asked her.

Okay. Let me start by analyzing the challenge. In Ukraine, today a significant business challenge is corruption which has seriously affected entrepreneurship. This is especially true when someone is looking to start their own business in Ukraine. As a result, entrepreneurs generally find it very hard to be successful and the failure rate of entrepreneurship is quite high in Ukraine,” says this Ukrainian woman, “But there are some effective solutions, fortunately. First, the business landscape has changed dramatically due to the popularity of the Internet. In other words, many years ago, people in Ukraine had to reply on local connections in order to do sales and marketing well. However, in this day and age, the Internet has fundamentally revolutionized how businesses operate. More specifically, these days entrepreneurs can set up online businesses which may have global customers. Second, without the support from the government, entrepreneurs in Ukraine can still do Internet marketing effectively because the Internet is not a government official who works as a gatekeeper. For example, in today’s day and age, social media marketing is mainstream already and this strategy should be properly implemented because social media platforms are where consumers’ attention is. Another example is Search Engine Optimization (SEO) which is an important business skill that should be mastered by modern entrepreneurs. That means as long as an entrepreneur knows how to optimize their website’s SEO, that website will rank very high in search results on Google. This technique is better and more sustainable than running ads on Google because most consumers trust organic search results rather than Google ads. Therefore, innovation is the solution to the above-mentioned business issue in Ukraine.”

Remain positive at all times.

It’s ten times harder for a pessimist to find true love. Sadly, going through challenges and disappointment in dating and relationships could make people more pessimistic, so you have to avoid this toxic vibe.

The most rewarding experiences come when you are around people who are looking for something positive, who trust that something better will rock up.

Of course, I know there is a difference between “optimistic” and “naïve”. I highly believe that realism is the best approach. Having said that, pessimism is definitely unhelpful. Full stop.

Let’s say you go out for a date and that person says, “I simply chose the wrong guys all the time” & “I was so unlucky in dating and relationships”. How would you feel? Do you really think that’s the right woman that you should marry? Truthfully, nobody wants to partner up with someone who sees themselves as the unfortunate loser.

Everyone is looking forward to meeting someone inspiring because optimism is so irresistible.

I understand that pain and heartbreak can happen. However, it is your responsibility to deal with the hurt and give yourself a clean slate before you join an online dating site.

Become a better version of yourself.

You are only human. It’s okay to have insecurities, anxieties and shortcomings. Maybe some of those come from childhood trauma, bad relationships, and so forth. Nevertheless, when you start dating again, you must decide whether you are going to let those flaws drown or define you, or you will rise above those flaws. It’s not really about how many flaws you have or how terrible your flaws are; it’s all about how you cope with your flaws. That is to say, the way you handle your flaws will define the future of your romantic relationship with a Ukrainian bride.

No, you don’t need to be perfect in order to have a good relationship. Never let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Having said that, there is a difference between accepting yourself fully and complacency. Let me explain.

In fact, complacency is being so satisfied that you stop growing. When you refuse to grow, your life becomes stagnant. No one is attracted to that energy because it’s so boring.

When someone is complacent, they become entitled. That is not an attractive trait at all.

I know many people ruined their relationships – oftentimes, it’s their fatal flaws that sabotaged their relationships rather than a lack of positive traits. Therefore, you don’t have to reinvent yourself in order to keep a Ukrainian wife. All you need to do is to become 10% better, and that is already a game-changer. I mean when you get rid of your worst traits, your partner will feel appreciated. That’s when you have peace in your relationship. Ultimately, peace is an absence of the war caused by a fatal flaw.

“Dating burnout is not uncommon. It’s important to take a break and have enough rest so that you can join the dating scene again with great energy.”

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