3 Surefire Ways to Ace Dating in Your 40s

dating in your 40s

Let us be honest here – dating in your 40’s is not the same as dating in your 20’s or 30’s. It’s not because you were young then and had a lot of energy to go on a dating spree. It’s also not because you have aged, become pickier, or that the dating pool has narrowed down. Truth be told, the dating pool is still the same way back then as it is today, except maybe you have grown more mature and impatient. 

In your 20’s you were optimistic and full of hope. Dating was the bright thing in your life back then. However, when you are in your 40’s, you have been through a lot. You went through so many bumps and crossroads along the way. For a few, the painful experiences mean slipping into a jaded and cynical place. Some may see dating as a cruel joke – like getting acne in your 40’s, which is a really bad life joke.

Whether you have been divorced, widowed or just got out of a long-term relationship, you will realize that dating in your 40’s is a totally different ballgame. Getting back out there may seem like a drag and a waste of time for some. However, with the right mindset, attitude, and approach, a stress-free dating experience is achievable.

Here are some tips on how to easily maneuver in the seemingly unfamiliar and sometimes shark-infested waters of today’s dating world:

Accept that there will be a baggage

Let’s admit it. When you are in your 40’s, you have been through a lot. By this age, you and your prospective date have already gone through many of life’s struggles. Realize that being single again in your 40’s and going on a date doesn’t mean that you will go on a first dance. Life’s experiences have changed you and made you into a more mature person. Those obstacles you faced and conquered molded and shaped you to become the person you are today. All these are true for anyone who is taking the risk again dating in their 40’s.

However, the baggage you have doesn’t mean you are doomed. Excess baggage doesn’t need to have a negative connotation – it simply means you are different. Be mindful of red flags and deal-breakers, such as lying, addictions, manipulation, cheating, etc. Despite these, always be open to understand and find out the WHY’s, especially if you find the person worth your time.

Stop caring so much

We always hear this, “you are already too old for that crap, why still worry”. To be honest, it’s easier said than done. Sometimes, in an effort to find love and how we want other people to perceive us, we worry too much about a lot of things.  Actually, the most important part in finding love is to make yourself a priority. Rather than sulking, hating your single life or going on a self-pity party, try to attract positive energy. It has been known that people who live a happy, satisfying life are the most attractive and inspiring people. 

Remember, the first person you meet on a date will not always be the person who will complete you and renew your faith in the dating scene. You are not a wrecked and empty vessel who needs rescuing. Focus on taking care of yourself first. Put more attention to being 40, single, and fabulous! This positive mindset will give you the confidence to date again.

Believe in actions, not words

“Actions speak louder than words”. In this stage of your life, you may have already heard that saying a million times. At 40, you believe in the rule of seeking action rather than empty words. Be careful though, as not all singles at 40 will have the maturity badge or diploma in honesty.

Always stay sharp when going on your dates. Never take people’s words seriously, especially if you have a gut feeling that something is off. You might be on a date with sweet talkers who seems to expertly know their ways with words. They could even mesmerize you with stories about how their exes hurt them so bad and that they don’t want to feel that again. Maybe they seem sincere, but don’t get too excited yet. Be cautious, and wait and see if their actions match with what they tell you.

In conclusion, dating in your 40’s is not different from dating at any other given age. However, this is the stage in your life where you are more mature, have more experiences, higher standards, and lower tolerance for any crap. You know what you deserve and what you want. So act on it.

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