Advice from Edward

December 11, 2014 at 2.00am by in Testimonials

In November we were very pleased to commence a collaboration with Edward and Aurelia from the Vitochka Project in San Diego.

Edward and Aurelia assist Slavic ladies to find a foreign man for marriage and assist in the areas of different customs, language, settling in, advice and on-going support. A number of men have contacted Edward and have asked advice about finding that special lady.

I was copied into an email that Edward sent to a man that contained a lot of great advice that I thought worthwhile sharing with all of you. I am sure that this will help you in your own searches.

The email said:
If you are looking for a woman who exclusively wants to make homemaking and child-rearing her one and only focus, the ladies we have registered (at Vitochka) are all educated women who work outside the home, enjoy it and would likely want to keep that going in some way or another after they marry. One of our women, for example, is a newly graduated veterinarian; others are lawyers and business managers – we even have a surgeon in our ranks. They are of course also good mothers (or future mothers) and as future wives would be very much focused on home and family too – but when it comes to work, they generally like to contribute to the family by maintaining outside jobs after they are married.

A second issue is that younger and educated Slavic women of today often are very outspoken, with strong characters, opinions of their own, and accustomed to stating exactly what is on their mind. Given how you describe your own personality, we agree with what you say about marrying a woman with a similar emotional profile to your own: it is like mixing oil and water or, worse case, oil and a flame.

However, your writing also makes it obvious that you are an intelligent and discriminating man who knows exactly what he wants. Knowing who you are and who you want alongside you, is half the battle. Timing is the other half. You have to find that one woman who is right for you, and at the right time for the both of you.

So we believe that you do have a very good chance to find the right woman for you, but there is no getting around the fact that it takes time, effort and patience. Some people are fortunate and find each other fairly early in the process, while others keep at it for years until they strike gold. So don’t give up: double down and look harder!

I want to add that, just because the young women that our Vitochka Project represents are well-educated and professional, does not mean that they are representative of all Slavic or Ukrainian women. If you look at women from smaller towns and cities in Ukraine, you are probably going to find more for whom marriage and motherhood is all they aspire to. These ladies often cannot afford studio-quality photo shoots for their profile images, or the best translators to make sure their profile description is just perfect. They may not be great at expressing themselves in writing. Relatively fewer will have mastered English. So their profiles sometimes don’t have the sizzle of the big-city ladies’ profiles, with studio smiles and designer outfits. No, you have to dig a bit to find these gems in the rough.

Small-town traditional Ukrainian girls tend to marry young and, as long as they feel reasonably well-treated and respected by their mate, they tend to marry for life. And that is part of the challenge, for such women do tend to marry young, right out of high school or university – so unmarried ones in their late 20’s or early 30’s are not always easy to find. It is somewhat easier to find young women divorcees, whose marriage was to the wrong man, and as a result they often have unhappy memories and children to raise alone. Such women are often all too happy to find a good man now that they are a little older and wiser, but try to remember that their wounded soul is very much deserving of a little TLC from an especially sensitive future spouse.

So if you focus on searching for women from the smaller, outlying towns and villages, we think you are more likely to find suitable candidates than you will in the sophisticated larger cities. So that is one suggestion: look for the small-town girls, as the saying goes.

Look for Ukrainian women who describe their faith, be it Orthodox or Catholic, as being central to their lives. Younger women who profess these beliefs are often more receptive to a lifetime as wife and mother to the exclusion of all else. They have also been raised to accept a more traditional role as wives, deferring to their husbands in all but the most essential of family decisions, where they do expect their views to be respected and influential. You do not necessarily have to share in these same religious beliefs, only respect their right to believe and celebrate their faith. But one related thing to consider in marrying such a person is that she may well want any of her offspring to be raised in her faith, and you would have to be OK with that from the outset.

I recognize that in many cultures it is not uncommon for women to marry men twice their age or even older – but this is not necessarily the case in Ukraine and other Slavic societies. If you look at average womens’ profiles you will find they are looking for men at most 8 to 12 years their senior. If they post that they would accept a mate 15 or more years older than they are, I would urge caution and a second look because this is not their cultural norm.

Finally, if you do get lucky and find your perfect potential partner out there, don’t just “date” her – court her, in the old fashioned sense of the word. This is especially true for an old-fashioned, traditional kind of woman from a small town. She and her parents will expect any serious suitor to observe certain rules and demonstrate propriety and discretion in the courtship process. Think about doing all things “polite and appropriate,” and you are on the right track. (This is where something like suggesting an exchange of swimsuit photos is probably not going to go over very well, for example.) Stick to the basics and remember that, when the time comes for it, you are going to have to meet her parents and ask for her hand in marriage – and this is likely true whether she’s in her 20’s and unmarried or in her 40’s and divorced. If you want a traditional woman, expect to do traditional things to win her heart – and her parents’ consent.

Thank you Edward.

Finally, we are about to enter the festive season and I wanted to tell you that Ukraine celebrations are a little different from our own traditional days.

December 19 sees St Nicholas day which is a traditional day for sharing of gifts and stories with children. January 1 is New Years day, of course!

Ukraine Christmas is January 7 and celebrations start on January 6 through to January 7.

We are receiving many orders for gifts for the special lady so please order early if you want to send your lady that something special. Our gifts range is here

  • Johnny m

    I respect Edwards comments. But reality can be a lot different. I just had a misunderstanding with the lady I really like and she is orthodox. And for me to try and talk her around our misunderstanding is very difficult. So reality tells me the women in Ukraine are no different than in any other country but I will keep trying and see.

  • Robert Wheeler


    I think you nailed it. I am having difficulty with my lady as well on a few minor issues. What I have learned so far is that Ukrainian women are very level headed and dead set in their ways. Not that this is a bad thing at all, but it does present small problems from time to time with issues that you or I would see as not an issue at all. Don’t give up pal. Keep at it and be patient. Patience is the key with these ladies for sure.


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