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6 Conversations You Need to Have Before Getting Married

October 2, 2017 at 6.40am by
Getting Married

If you are currently in a relationship and you find yourself share many common things with your partner, then you may be considering getting married to this person and spending the rest of your life with them. That is especially true if you share the same interests, hobbies, passion and beliefs and principle. While this may be a good sign of compatibility and a higher likelihood of a harmonious relationship when you get married, there are still some critical things you need to discuss before you finally tie the knot.

Marriage is far from the normal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. There is so much more to it than that, and even if you have been in a relationship for a long time, many things will still change as soon as you get married. To help you have a happy married life;

Here are the most important conversations you need to have with your partner before you walk down the aisle and exchange your vows.

1. Children

Getting married means you are starting your own family, and one of the most critical things you should plan out for is the number of kids that you will have. But before you even talk about the number, both of you should also agree that you will have children, then you decide how many children you are going to have. You must also discuss the other options you may need to take if natural conception is not going to be possible. You also have to plan how soon you are going to have children after marriage.

Having children and the number are not the only things. As parents in the near future, you should agree to how you are going to impose discipline to your kids, especially when they start to disobey or become stubborn. Discuss parenting issues so that you are on the same page and make sure that you have the same goal in raising your kids.

2. Career and finances

One of the major and most common matters that married couples fight about is money. This is the reason why you need to talk about it as early as possible before issues start to arise. You need to decide if you will maintain separate accounts even when you are married, who is going to pay for which utility, if you are going to have a joint account for your emergency and savings funds, and so on. You also have to talk about budgeting especially one of you is frugal and one is a spender. You have to make sure that you meet halfway when it comes to the budgeting for the house and budgeting for your personal needs and wants. The most important thing is that at the end of the day, you live within your budget and within how much your salary can afford.

And since you are already talking about finances, it will also lead you to talking about your career plans because you may or you may not be doing the same job in the next few years. There are some husbands who want their wives to just stop working. You also have to consider how your expenses are going to evolve especially when you start having kids, when you start sending them to school, etc. These are but a few of the major considerations you will have when you deal with money but you have to agree on it as soon as possible to avoid unnecessary fights and arguments when you are already married.

3. Location

Because you are getting married, you need to decide where you will be living. Do you already have a house where you could move into after your wedding? Or if not, are you going to rent a place? Or stay with your family or your partner’s? Ideally, it is always better if you be ready with a house before you even settle down but if that’s not possible, make sure that your chosen location is going to work for both parties especially when both of your are working.

4. Religion and faith

Another important thing you need to agree on with your partner is your religion or faith. If they don’t share the same faith with you, which religion would you like your kids to follow in the future? Which church are you going to get married? How do you think your difference when it comes to your faith will affect your lifestyle?

5. How you will settle fights and misunderstandings

Marriage is not always full of happy moments; it is not always a bed of roses. There will be times when you will have misunderstandings because you will have things you will disagree about, and that is perfectly normal. You and your partner are unique beings and while you share many common things, it does not mean that you are alike in every way. So when the time comes when you have some disagreements, you need to agree how you and your partner are going to settle it. What works for you may not work for them.

There are people who want to be left alone first to let their emotions subside before they are ready to talk. There are also some people who can’t afford to wait and want confrontation right away. If you are these people, you have to meet halfway and decide the best way for your relationship is. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you get your conflicts resolved before they even start creeping in and ruin your marriage.

6. Household chores

As a married couple, you also need to agree on how you will divide household chores. You need to decide who will do the dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning of the house, etc. This way, someone is always responsible for something. If you don’t like your assigned task, you can probably compromise and make negotiations with your partner. If you can do these tasks as a team, you will feel great at what you can accomplish together.

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