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Dating Advice for a Man Looking to Date a Russian Lady

Russian bride

Today I received a query from a man looking to find a Russian girlfriend. He has kindly given me the permission to share my response in public so that more people can benefit from his lessons. (Context: He is an Australian guy living in Russia, looking to date a Russian woman online. Although their initial interaction on the Internet was positive, they had a conflict regarding their schedules.)

My response:

Hi Mike,

Thank you for sending me the question.

I’m 100% sure that this amazing Russian ladyhas options on the dating websitebecause of her outgoing personality.

Based on what you’ve told me, I can see where the problem is:

When she asked for your schedule, you told her that you would let her know once you got it. Did you actually let her know your schedule as soon as possible? (Please let me explain this later.)

Then you asked her if she was available the following evening for a date – If you told her that you would let her know your schedule but you actually didn’t let her know it, she won’t say yes to a date immediately, especially if the date is supposed to happen within 48 hours.

And then you responded, “No problem. Just get back to me when you figure out your schedule” – This looks like instead of telling her what your schedule is, now you are asking for her schedule – this doesn’t make the Russian ladyfeel good. Consequently, she won’t contact you again unless her other options on the dating site disappear or don’t work out.

Ideally, you should have told her what your schedule is immediately when you got your schedule because you promised her that already, and then you can keep her interest from there. Here is an example of a potential conversation:

HER: “What’s your schedule?”

YOU: “I’ll get my schedule tonight and I’ll let you know once I’ve got it.”

HER: “Okay. Thanks.”

YOU: “My schedule indicates that I’ll be free after 6pm from Monday to Friday next week. I’m going to XYZ café for matcha at 8pm next Tuesday night because they will have a special Asian matcha event there & the ambience will be wonderful. I think you should come.”

In this conversation, no question is asked when you ask her out. You only use a statement “I think you should come”, because when you ask “Would you like to come?” this Russian woman will have two questions in her head: 1) “Do I want to go out with this guy?” 2) “Can I go out with this guy?”

However, when you say a statement “I think you should come”, she only has one question in her head, “Can I go out with this guy on Tuesday night?”

But the conflict has already happened now, so here is my advice:

You need to ask this Russian lady out again for the second time if you are really attracted to her. You won’t come off as needy if you aren’t needy in reality. The neediest person is someone who pretends not to be needy.

Of course, right now, she shouldn’t be your only option either as you are on a dating website. Therefore, you’d better create more options for yourself now.

Don’t feel frustrated. She is a Russian woman, so chances are she will clarify what has happened with you or directly call you out when it’s necessary. That’s her Russian culture in which people are very honest with each other.

Having said that, since you are a handsome guy, many women will want to date you anyway. In other words, you will absolutely, positively have a lot of options on the dating website if you want to make that happen.

Hence, you don’t have to worry about whether this amazing Russian ladywould like to see you soon. What’s more, this lady hasn’t proved her good qualities yet – she is still a stranger, so you don’t have enough evidence to believe that she is a high-value woman right now. Hopefully this makes sense.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Good luck & happy dating!

Yours sincerely,

Dating Adviser at UkraineBridesAgency

How to meet Russian women and connect with them:

When you are in a major city in Russia, do this on the sidewalk in the street: A good-looking Russian lady is about to pass you on the sidewalk, going in the opposite direction. Thinking quickly, you remember that a Starbucks coffeehouse is at the end of the block in the direction she is heading. Since you are walking in the opposite direction, you say, “Excuse me, do you know if Starbucks is nearby?” If she knows it, she will say, “Sure. Starbucks is at the end of this block, to the right. You are going the wrong way.” Then you say, “Oh, I am new here, so I didn’t know it. Since you are going that way, do you mind pointing it out to me?” Then you can walk with her and continue the conversation by talking about you are a tourist from a western country but you are actually very interested in Russian culture – this will make you look more interesting. At the end of the conversation, you say, “Thank you very much. I should buy you a coffee.” If she likes you, she will have an instant date with you because Russian ladies don’t play games with men. If she doesn’t like you, at least you’ve tried your best.

Whenever you are interacting with a Russian woman that you like, you should give her a compliment about her personality, humor or intellect. This will encourage her to get closer to you psychologically because most men would only pay her compliments about her looks. Here are some examples: “It’s nice for a change to meet someone who shares my beliefs.” “I don’t usually meet women who have positive energy as you do.” “You think about things in an interesting way.”

A lady from Russia needs to feel desired – Crucial for any relationship, women always want to connect with men who make them feel attractive and desired as a real woman.

A woman from Russia needs to feel like you have strong values – She wants to see you have independence, integrity, and that you live by certain standards and aren’t afraid to assert them. Women love the guy who lives by a code and respects himself. As to conversation skills, what you tell her is important, yet what you actually do is equally important (if not more important).  If she is smart, she will know who you really are by looking at what you do rather than what you say to her. Hopefully this is understandable and I wish you all the best in love and in life! Enjoy this journey!

“Just let her invest in you more.  She also must work hard in order to impress you.  Otherwise, she won’t cherish you because it’s too easy to get what she wants from you.”

  • john wilson

    Hi I have read this with interest ,I have been on this site, agency, for a few months now and the one thing I have found that you have to be completely honest , with your self ,and the lady ,ladies, I am corresponding through this agency ,with a lady both with letters, and chat when I can , we were going to have a date, when I was going to go over in May, but that now is on hold , because of Corvid19,but out of this comes, a understanding , in the ladies culture, and she of yours , and you should say exactly the truth,
    you said, that you would give her the schedule, you dident , you then asked for her schedule, that would make any person suspicious ,
    as they say time is the essence ,

    Reply

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