Get Real!

I have been mentioning in my weekly emails in the last few weeks about the positive feedback that we have received from men who have been to meet their ladies in Ukraine recently. However, this is not always the case.

I was sent a very long email yesterday from a fellow who said I am nothing but the scammer he had always said I was and that I am just like all the others. There is a wee story behind this that I will briefly outline as I think it is important to keep some things in mind if you are searching for your soul mate with us.

About a month ago I received an email from a Scandinavian man who accused us of being scammers – like all the rest (he said). I was intrigued as he was not a member of the site and had never emailed me previously. How is he qualified to make that assertion? He said he was going with a friend to Ukraine and would like to meet ladies while there, but probably wouldn’t as he said all sites were scam.

I like a challenge, so I said we would arrange meetings for him, look after him as we do all other visitors and hopefully help him to find his special lady and convince him that we are not all scammers. I asked him to send through a completed matchmaking questionnaire along with his profile and his ideal lady profile. From this information we would find 5 ladies that fitted his criteria and that found him attractive and his profile appealing. He agreed.

He looked on the site and asked about 5 ladies that he liked and in the meantime he sent me all his information. Here is some of what he said in his criteria email:

My friend booked the flight and taxi. But as I said, I have no one to meet in Ukraine. I am very tired of writing letters, because I have met 99% scam. We will be in Nicolaev October 21. We have only three days on Nicolaev. My friends maybe like to meet someone too. But since he already has someone to meet on the road, he would wait until he comes to Nicolaev. I have no one to meet. I’m so shit tired of writing. All I write with, is only fake profiles. I plan to send a letter to someone in your system before I leave.
My profile says something about me. But I’m looking for a girl who is from 30-42 years without children. She must not smoke or drink alcohol or other bad habits. I do not like tatoo or piersing. I like the cute girl, but not sexy girl. girls showing in bikini and high heel shoes are not what I want. I hope to meet a girl who wants a marriage forever. (Not just a few years as asia girls, sorry to say so. Although all asia girls living in Norway are just looking for money. Philippines and Thailand.)
If a girl is looking to feed her family with money, I’m not interested. I do not mind helping, but not to feed her family. than it’s better to live alone. I’m tired of being exploited by girl.
I do not like girls under 160 cm tall or over 60 kg.
That said, I live in a very small village which is only 2,000 people in the city. If a girl does not want to live in a small village, there is no idea to try. where I live it is not good climate. It is often cold and rain.

As I said I like a challenge!

He sent through 5 ladies usernames from the site that he would like to meet, but after reading his profile, 4 of the ladies were not interested. Surprisingly, we found another 4 ladies who were not put off by his details and who also met his criteria and they wanted to meet him. We advised him of this – tactfully.

We arranged his taxi’s and his meetings, we gave him our contact details and we gave him 100% attention – as we always do. We took him to the agency where the ladies were waiting for him and he created a terrible scene that upset all the ladies and shocked the agency. He demanded to know why all 5 ladies that he had chosen were not there and why we had asked these ladies that he knew nothing about to come and meet with him. What sort of scam is this he shouted.

We settled the ladies down by buying them all flowers and we apologised to the agent. We transported the man back to his hotel and explained (again) that these ladies were genuinely interested in him and that if we had arranged for the ladies that he asked to meet with him, that would have been a waste of time (and a scam) as they did not want to meet him. He had allowed us to find 5 compatible and interested ladies as he was not interested in writing to them prior to visiting.

He went back home, alone, and wrote me a very nasty email which I had been warned to expect. He asked me not to reply as I am “just a liar” anyway – so I wont bother.

Men like this can cause considerable damage to a genuine agency because they are likely to go home and tell everyone about the scamming that goes on in the Ukraine dating scene. The ladies who genuinely wanted to meet him were upset and disheartened. I am sure that this man will spend the rest of his life looking for that special lady that ticks all his boxes – but I don’t think she exists.

I retell this story as there is a moral which is that you must be realistic in your search. Sure, we all have the ideal profile in our minds that would be perfect – and so do the ladies in their search. However, no one is perfect and love and relationships develop from discovery, not from a checklist.

I hold my head high that we did all we could for this man and I kept my word that we would offer him genuine service and the best opportunity to find his partner. It is just that he was not realistic.

Nadezhda K

Nadezhda is a romantic who enjoys writing poetry and painting. She loves travelling and experiencing different cultures. In her free time, she volunteers at local shelters, practices yoga, and loves quiet moments with a good book and a cup of herbal tea.