Keen to find a partner via online dating? This article is certainly for you! Online dating and long-distance relationships come with some challenges owing to gaps in communication. That’s why I’d like to share with you some helpful tips for keeping communication open and healthy. This will help you in your journey to get into online dating.
Why you shouldn’t avoid difficult conversations
When I was in my 20s, I was a menswear sales manager in a clothing shop. At that time, I had a colleague who was competing with me for sales. This was because he had been in the sales industry for decades longer. In contrast, I was much younger yet still efficient, so he felt intimidated by my performance. Consequently, he took my customers! If I had already approached a customer at the time, he would approach my customer and then get my sale.
I didn’t address that with him in time because I shied away from having difficult conversations. As a consequence, he did the same thing to other team members, and this obviously annoyed them all, which was understandably not good for morale.
That’s when I decided to have a difficult, but important, conversation with him.
“In sales, the push-pull technique is necessary. But if a customer is approached by a second salesperson, the customer gets annoyed, as push shouldn’t be overdone,” I explained to him. “That’s why if you aren’t sure if your colleague has already approached a customer, you need to ask them if they have. Ask them if they have spoken to that customer yet before approaching that customer.”
He apologised to me and the team immediately because he fully understood what I said and knew what he did wasn’t right. After having a difficult but important conversation with him, he changed his behaviour soon after. I should have done that earlier!
In life and at work, you are not supposed to avoid difficult conversations because avoiding such a conversation will only lead to repeating the same issue again and again until it’s actually addressed! So, why not address it as early as possible?
How to have that uncomfortable conversations in online dating
If you are planning on getting into online dating, you need to be prepared to have conversations by sending text messages, having video and audio chats, etc. Of course, you will also have face-to-face conversations because you’ll have to meet each other in real life, but getting a hold of virtual conversations is important too.
When you have an uncomfortable but important conversation with your partner, please consider the following technique:
This technique is called “the hamburger technique”. Allow me to explain.
- When you start a difficult but important conversation, you talk about something positive. For example, you may give your partner a compliment or mention your partner’s good qualities first.
- Then you honestly talk about the issue that you need to address with your partner. Use “I-message”, e.g., “When that happens, I feel uncomfortable.” / “In that situation, I feel neglected.” In this way, you are not blaming your partner, but you are directly addressing the problem with your partner.
- You end the conversation with something positive, e.g., “Thank you for being so understanding and caring. You are amazing.“ / “Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you today. You are very considerate and kind. I really appreciate you.”
Basically, the hamburger technique includes three layers: 1) something positive; 2) the problem; 3) something positive.
Internet dating is the most mainstream way to meet someone these days. I’m sure getting into online dating won’t be too hard for you if you implement this principle in your challenging conversations with your romantic partner! Consider utilizing this in all your relationships and watch how conflict and issues become easier to navigate.
If you found this blog post about conflict resolution helpful, do consider stopping by our others too! We cover a plethora of topics to help you with insightful and practical dating advice. We’re certain you will find this useful while finding your other half in your international dating journey. While you’re at it, don’t forget to register on Ukraine Brides Agency today, and who knows — your love may just be around the corner with another magical click.
Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
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