How to get married and stay married to a Ukrainian lady

Ukrainian women

In modern-day society, most people are looking to do more, get more, achieve more…. There is nothing wrong with becoming a high-achiever. But if this exhausting process makes you feel jaded and confused, you may need to re-evaluate how you operate in your love life with your Ukrainian wife and your business or career.

The truth about “busyness”:

In contemporary society, many people wear busyness as a badge of honor. They think they can look high-value if they are constantly busy. That’s why exhaustion and burnout are so common these days. Sadly, social media platforms have made the situation even worse because people always think they should do more in order to look better than their friends on Facebook or Instagram.

As I see it, rather than comparing ourselves to those who are showing the highlight of their lives on the Internet and finding ourselves lacking, reading all of the research findings and deciding we must do more for our marriages, our kids, our jobs and our communities, or following every piece of self-help advice and jamming our lives so full of improvements that we don’t even have enough space to enjoy the so-called improved-upon life, now is the right time for us to let it be enough.

“The mainstream culture’s obsession with thinking we should do more and be more shows up most acutely in our marriages and our work lives,” says Darren J., a British guy who is married to a Ukrainian wife, “I went to Ukraine last year to see my wife – at that time I just met her on an international dating site, so I decided to meet her in person. When I was in Ukraine, I realized that people in Ukraine don’t value busyness that much. It was an eye-opening experience there.”

Indeed, most people in western countries have been conditioned to believe that the way to be valuable is to always go the extra mile, to always put in more hours at work, to always put in more effort in their marriages, to always do more and more and more. However, I guess by now you can understand why more isn’t necessarily better and how deliberately using breaks and pulling back can really lead to the same, if not better results, let alone preserving your health and wellbeing.

After getting married, the pressure to show up more and more as a spouse and to drown our kids in attention, affection, love and activities can bring the strongest parent to their knees with feelings of inadequacy and burnout & wondering whether he/she is doing enough or not. This is especially true in modern western culture. But Darren’s Ukrainian wife has revealed a different perspective. “Doing less is the path to better results and wellbeing in my marriage,” says Darren’s wife from Ukraine, “When I start to manage my energy more efficiently, I’m validated with better health and wellbeing. My husband and I run a successful business. We are also validated with more clients, better testimonials, getting more things done and making more money.”

The truth about parenting:

Darren and his Ukraine wife has a beautiful daughter. When it comes to parenting, this lovely couple also have their own philosophy.

“Parenting isn’t like a business where there are positive results such as increased profit or customer retention to prove to us that what we are doing is right,” says Darren, the British guy who is married to an elegant Ukrainian lady, “Essentially, there isn’t any relationship between a kid’s wellbeing, academic performance or behavior and the amount of time his/her parents spent with him/her, between the age of 4 to 12 – I read a journal article about this research finding.”

Of course, that study didn’t discount the importance of one-on-one time and family dinners at night. Moreover, interestingly, in adolescence the situation changes – more time spent with a mom decreases delinquent behavior. Therefore, Darren’s Ukrainian wife has decided that she will spend more time with their daughter when she becomes a teenager.

More importantly, research shows that the degree to which dads enjoy parenting has a great impact on decreasing behavioral problems at school than the amount of time dads spend with their children. Yes, quality is more important than quantity. But how do we define quality?

Well, according to researchers, quality time doesn’t need to be expensive or super special or some magical activity. As a matter of fact, quality time can be going to the park after dinner and actually listening to your child talking about their day. It can be 10 minutes when your kids come home from school where you put your laptop and cell phone away & sit down with your kids for supper & you are 100% present with them. It can be stopping what you are doing and making full eye contact when your child asks you a question.

“Ukrainian ladies enjoy the miraculous experience of being more of who they are because their culture doesn’t value busyness.”

  • Chris Smith

    Hi Darren your enjoyed reading your post of your experiences and how your outlook on life has changed. So true in the Uk we drive ourselves and life is very fast passed! At 54 I’m re-evaluating my life! I find myself single after 2 failed marriages! I think the balance between male and females roles has got distorted along the way and so I’ve decided to have a go trying to find love in the Ukraine! I could do with some advice I’m like any other intelligent guy sceptical of the authenticity of sites and profiles so It’s nice to hear your story! I see profiles with perfect photos of gorgeous women and I actually used to work as an airbrusher photoshopping images so know how easy it is. I would just like some advice? On my best way forward? This site seems ok and I hope it works for me. I was thinking of taking a weeks Holiday in Ukraine to see the culture and may even meet someone! Is this a good idea and what are the best city’s to visit. Wish you and your wife the very best of lives together! Regards Chris

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