How to appreciate your differences?

Can you accurately answer: what attracts us more in the person – opposites or common qualities? The answer to this question is ambiguous and very subjective. But certainly, opposites attract us very much. On the other hand, a relationship with a person who is different in everything threatens with frequent confrontations and can destroy relations. In the early stages of relationships, we like how these differences complement relationships. After marriage, the same differences become obstacles in a common life. Consequently, all because we tend to focus on these traits or preferences and wonder why she or he cannot be the same as me? And here everything is falling apart. Instead of talking about this, we are complaining and arguing and ultimately trying to change our spouse with manipulative tactics.

The most important thing is that one should understand that a person will not change cardinally, and all his habits will most likely remain with him forever.

Most couples have little understanding of their differences and that it is what makes their relationship stronger. The biggest disappointments come when we start thinking about opposites from the point of view of right and wrong. Usually, this means: “I’m right, but you’re wrong.” Therefore, they begin the process of trying to turn their spouse into the “right” or “best option”.

We offer you two steps on the way of understanding and accepting your opposites.

1. Understand and accept your differences.

The easiest way is the way of denial. Once you humble yourself and accept your differences, everything will fall into place. Let your partner be the way he or she is because that’s how you love him\her.

2. Look at your differences as qualities that complement you.

Try to determine why this person has become so important to you, despite all its drawbacks.

Hence, once you clearly identify all the qualities that distinguish you, you will understand that they are precisely those qualities that you love in your partner. After all, if your partner changes – it will be a completely different person and your relationship will be under a very big threat. If the spouses stand together and value their differences, there is little that can prevent them from solving even the biggest problems that life can throw on them. Accepting and assessing the differences between you, you will understand how much you need each other.

Olga P

Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.