Yesterday a gentleman who has started a serious relationship with an Eastern European woman asked me a key question, “Many women have been interested in me in real life, but I didn’t have any real relationship with them in the past. Now I’ve started a serious and meaningful relationship with an Eastern European lady that I met online.
So could you please tell me how I can protect my relationship from other women’s jealousy? I don’t really want to tell other people about my new relationship except for my family and two close friends. Am I wrong for cutting everyone else back? Should I care less in this regard? Am I thinking too much?
I have already started to talk with other women less frequently these days. When I meet my Eastern European lady in person, I will stop interacting with those women in real life completely. This is because I plan to marry my Eastern European lady and I’ll remain faithful to my marriage.”
Today I’d like to share my answer to this question on this blog here.
- It’s your responsibility to protect your new relationship with an Eastern European woman.
No, you are not wrong for cutting everyone else back. You are the most important person in the universe. If letting others know about your new relationship can’t give you the peace that you deserve and need, you must keep your new relationship private from other people. (Yes, you read that right – I said “must”, not “should”.)
Yes, you have to care less and stop overthinking in this regard so that you can care more about your Eastern European woman. Please trust your intuition because your intuition is always right.
- How to stop contacting other women and remain faithful to your new relationship:
Your current strategy is actually correct: You already don’t call/text those women often these days. As a consequence of this, other women will gradually fade away. As time goes by, these women will get used to the new pattern and won’t feel close to you anymore. That’s exactly what you want.
According to my experience, flirting with a man for a long time and then suddenly ending that paradigm is something that is very hard to deal with. This is because after flirting with a guy for some time, I become addicted to him and that flirtatious paradigm. However, the keyword in this scenario is “suddenly”. This means if this guy starts to show signs of ending the flirtatious vibe gradually, I wouldn’t feel that bad. It is partly because I don’t want to look clingy or needy, and partly because when he shows signs of ending the flirtatious interactions, the entire thing isn’t fun anymore (so it’s less addictive).
Frankly, even if you end the flirtatious interactions suddenly, most women can’t do anything about that anyway. This is because most women don’t know how to re-engage with you and reignite the spark. (I can reignite the spark even after a major misunderstanding happened right before a guy leaves me because my dating skills are extremely good, but the majority of women have no idea and can’t do anything about that if a guy ends the flirtatious interactions suddenly.)
Flirting with someone feels like drinking wine because it’s highly addictive and intoxicating. Consequently, when you suddenly end the flirtatious communication with a woman, her life becomes difficult: suddenly she can’t ‘drink wine’ anymore. In contrast, if you gradually fade out, it’s going to be much easier for these women to handle the situation and accept the result that you prefer.
In psychology, this technique is called “graduated exposure”, i.e., you gradually change your behaviour by changing one thing at a time, and eventually, you’ll change everything in the dynamics! This way, those women can cope and won’t cause drama.
I’m sure you are a very loyal gentleman who would like to be faithful to your Eastern European lady forever.
“When you start a serious relationship, you have to focus on your new relationship and end all distractions.”
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Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
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