Recently, a gentleman asked me an interesting question, “I’ve started a relationship with a Ukrainian lady. She has traditional values, so she likes cooking. I just would like to upgrade a few things for her in the kitchen because she is currently doing things in an old-fashioned way. How should I tell her that I would like to upgrade her things without sounding condescending?”
- My very honest answer to this gentleman’s very important question:
I understand that you would like to upgrade things for her because you are a very kind person. As such, you want to help her and support her. Your motivation is to be admired.
However, after dating someone for a while, you would be well-advised to find out the answer to this question:
What does she really want? (Identify her hopes & dreams as well as fears & frustrations.)
If you have an accurate answer to this question, you will be able to read her like an open book.
When you know what she really wants, you should give her exactly that rather than what you think she wants.
Sometimes what you want is different from what she wants, and that’s totally okay. However, please don’t assume that what she wants is always what you want. Since you and your Ukrainian lady are from two different cultures, chances are what she wants is often different from what you want, which is absolutely understandable.
Having said that, as long as your values and her values are compatible (and you have a shared vision & a solid emotional connection), your relationship is fine because the big picture is good. Upgrading things for her is about some small details that shouldn’t affect the quality of your relationship.
If you are keen to upgrade things for her, you can start by upgrading one thing at a time. Observe her reaction (after that, you will be well-informed and take action according to how she feels). For instance, you can ask her, “Valentine’s Day is coming, so I’d like to give you a rice cooker as a present. I’m sure it will further improve your cooking efficiency. Would you be happy with this gift?”
Then please carefully observe her reaction. If she responds to your question very well, you know you can keep upgrading things for her in the future. Nevertheless, you have to know how to phrase this idea and justify your action correctly. That is to say, how you communicate this idea to her.
In the Valentine’s Day example above, Valentine’s Day is the context and a reason for giving her a present. The present happens to be a rice cooker (something that you want to give her in order to upgrade things for her). This is an effective way to pre-frame the situation, phrase your idea and justify your action tactfully. Therefore, it’s very hard for her to say no (and it’s almost impossible for her to blame you).
- Ukraine Brides Agency helps you to organize gifts for your Ukrainian lady.
This website offers an outstanding gift delivery service in all Ukrainian cities. If you would like to impress your lady, you can choose a present from our experts’ recommendations on this site and our team will organize the delivery of your present as well as a card with a message on it. We will send you a photo of the lady receiving your present. The delivery of the present can take a few days. So if you think a present should be delivered on a specific day, you’d better place an order in time and specify your requirement clearly.
We look forward to helping you strengthen the emotional connection with your Ukrainian lady through meaningful gifts.
“Apart from translation services and travel service, UkraineBridesAgency.com also offers a gift delivery service.”
Not sure how to go about finding your ideal Ukrainian lady? Come and register at Ukraine Brides Agency and get your dating life started! You can also take a look at our blog for dating advice, what it is like to be dating internationally, and even what online dating is about! Head on over to Ukraine Brides Agency for more!
Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
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