Is international dating easier or harder for men?

Confident men choose international dating. Three layers of confidence determine the quality of a man’s love life. They are external confidence, lifestyle confidence and internal confidence.

Layer One: External Confidence.

This layer of confidence is about how you look, how you talk, how you walk, how you move, how you carry yourself, etc. Although this is only the surface level confidence, it’s actually more important than you think, because without external confidence, you probably wouldn’t have a chance to display your internal confidence. We all know that the first impression is very lasting, and the first impression is all about external confidence. Make sure you present yourself well on the first date!

Layer Two: Lifestyle Confidence.

This layer of confidence is about your love life, your career, your hobbies, your social circle, and so on, meaning you oftentimes derive lifestyle confidence from various areas of the matrix. When someone derives all of their confidence from their love life, this person is usually less attractive. So, it’s important to derive confidence from other areas of life as well.

Layer Three: Internal Confidence.

Your internal confidence is about having self-esteem and knowing your self-worth (you know what you have to offer in dating and relationships). It’s also known as core confidence which isn’t affected by external factors. No matter what happens, you truly love yourself. That makes you very attractive.

How should we define a “marriageable man”?

Well, that’s a wonderful question. In the past, as long as a guy has a job and behaves in a decent way, he is marriageable. Yet right now, a lot of women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to looking for men for long-term relationships or marriages.

Personally, I would argue that a marriageable man is a guy who has figured out his career and has good manners. That’s already quite marriageable because I’m traditionally-minded in a way. You might be surprised by my simple definition.

If you disagree with me, that’s okay. We agree to disagree.

I interviewed several western women from a reliable dating website. They all have long shopping lists when it comes to meeting a marriageable man. Here is a list of their requirements:

1. He must be handsome.
2. He should be someone that I admire.
3. The chemistry needs to be strong.
4. He is willing to commit.
5. My personality and his personality have to be compatible.
6. He should be successful.
7. He needs to have some fame.
8. He needs to have powerful connections.
9. He can’t be needy and insecure. I only want to meet confident men.
10. He should come from a decent family.

….

Then I asked these women, “That sounds very nice. But there are many attractive women out there. Beauty is not rare. What do you have to offer? Why would a guy like that marry you?”

They obviously didn’t like my question and I never hear from them again.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s fine to have high standards. But your standards must match your competence/dating skills. I know this isn’t the prettiest statement to say, but it’s the truth.

The last thing a woman wants to hear is lowering her standards. However, the ugly truth is: If a woman keeps very high standards for years, is she going to actually get what she wants? Maybe her high standards will become the real reason why she can’t get what she wants.

I don’t advise women to have low standards. I just advise women to have realistic standards. If a woman can’t have realistic standards, then she has to change her goals.

For example, if a woman wants to meet a guy on the best dating website and get married, she should have realistic standards by clarifying which standards are non-negotiables & which standards are optional.

But if a woman doesn’t want to change her high standards, then she would be well-advised to change her goals. And there is nothing wrong with that.

How should we define a “marriageable woman”?

As I see it, a marriageable woman isn’t necessarily a young and attractive woman. In fact, the majority of young and pretty women aren’t looking for marriages at the moment – Indeed, when a pretty lady is 21 years old, she is probably not looking for a husband yet. Chances are she wants to explore more exciting dating opportunities with different men. I’m not here to judge that because I understand it’s a part of her journey.

Yet a mature, confident woman who have more experience and wisdom is very marriageable. By that I mean even if a woman was married before or has lived with at least one man before, she can relate to men easily. It’s more natural for her to live with a guy on a daily basis in the long term. By contrast, mature women who have never had a serious relationship with men are less marriageable because they probably don’t know what they have to give up if they start a long-term relationship.

How to meet people and have dates:

Meeting people shouldn’t be something you turn on or off. It shouldn’t be something that you do just on Friday or Saturday nights, e.g. going out on Friday night with your friends to the bar to meet people, or going to a singles event to meet someone, etc. In fact, it should be something that you incorporate into your everyday life because great people are everywhere, you just have to take off your blinders and open your eyes.

Stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready. Many people only dress well when they think they might meet some quality candidates on certain occasions. But I’d like you to think outside the box: In fact, you never know when and where you will meet your ideal candidate! Therefore, you should look your best every day. Actually, looking your best is not about pleasing others; instead, it’s about making yourself feel great every day, so that you become a more positive person! Once you are a positive and upbeat person, you will attract high-quality people. Be approachable. Put away the technology (mobile phone, iPad, laptop & iPod); make eye contact and smile. If you are wearing headphones in the street or on the train, other people wouldn’t want to initiate a conversation with you, because they think you are too busy to talk to them.

“Do the group version of activities that you enjoy. If you already like painting, instead of doing it at home, you can join a painting class in the community. If you already like doing exercises, instead of jogging alone, you can go to the gym and join a group session. Now you’ve got the gist: you don’t need to change a lot of your daily routines; you simply need to modify the version of your existing activities, so that you can meet more people in general and have more dates with like-minded individuals.”

Olga P

Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.