Online dating: Please Do Not Play Hard To Get

The Myth: Women want a man who is hard to get.

Whether you’re beginning your online dating or looking for love offline, women do not want a man who plays hard to get. And here is why –

I can guarantee that this fallacy only leads to stressful relationships and unhappiness. Let’s have a look at some common “hard-to-get scenarios”when online dating:

1. If an Eastern European woman doesn’t respond to your message within 72 hours, you shouldn’t send her another message.
2. You don’t respond to her message within 12 hours.
3. When she wants to make plans with you, you become elusive.
4. Pretend to be busy when you are not busy at all.

If any of the above scenarios have happened in your love life, you are doing it wrong. I understand why this fallacy looks great: “I should make myself the prize. That will make her try to win me. She will put a lot of value on a man that she has to work hard for.” However, this fallacy leads men to manipulate relationships, shut themselves out from letting Eastern European ladies discover who they are and hide their feelings/emotions. This fallacy only creates a fake “tough nut to crack” persona.

In Western countries, men and women often play games with each other. That’s exactly why dating in the West is hard – you tell women that your schedule is full when you are not even busy; you make sure she sends you the last text message at night; you cancel plans with her in order to look elusive or high-value.

“The harder I am to get, the more she wants what she can’t have. Isn’t that correct?”

In the beginning, that can happen. Nonetheless, there is a further step and you will soon find out that once you finally give her what she wants, it will not look so good anymore. Therefore, this is actually a cat-string theory, i.e. if you dangle a string above a cat, the cat will keep clawing at the string (trying to get the object). When you finally give up the elusive string, the cat does not want the object any longer. Sad but true!

Now you’ve understood the true nature of the hard-to-get fallacy: this only attracts an Eastern European lady to the process rather than to you! It attracts her to the idea of having you, yet when she finally gets you, she will begin to question if she was that bothered in the first place. Hopefully, now it’s crystal clear.

Some Western men even think, “That means I simply need to keep playing mind games with her in order to keep her wanting me for the rest of my life.” Therefore, they play mind games, never really give themselves to a relationship for fear of “losing this power”, and even withdraw into themselves for no reason.

Obviously, this is not the best way to find happiness in any relationship. As a matter of fact, only two types of women will stay married to men who play hard to get:

1. A woman who plays the same game.
2. A woman with lots of insecurities.

Forget the “hard-to-get” game. Become a high-value guy when online dating and offline too.

Hard-to-get only makes having you the prize. Once a woman gets the prize, she has won the game you are playing with her. It is not a meaningful relationship in the long term. Note that Eastern European women are looking for meaningful, long-term and sustainable relationships.

Hence, there must be a better way to become an attractive man – what ladies from Eastern Europe really want is a gentleman who is actually high-value.

You read that right. It’s very simple. Eastern European women want to meet high-value men instead of men who are hard to get.

If you’ve only dated Western women in the past, this concept might look foreign to you because playing mind games is the theme in the dating scene in Western countries. Thus, it might take daily commitment to work at ingraining this into your character in the long run.

A high-value man devotes his efforts to becoming excited and having a wonderful lifestyle. In the long term, this is precisely what makes an Eastern European woman believe a guy is genuinely special and worth marrying. In this way, she will understand that the prize is not about getting you only; the prize is about building a real relationship with a great guy.

Unlike the hard-to-get play, being a high-value person gives you the permission to be genuine and sincere. In contrast, hard-to-get only relies on telling men to hide who they really are or express a cold persona to hide their true intentions. Clearly, playing hard-to-get comes from a place of insecurity rather than a position of strength.

“A high-value guy leads his own life.”

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Olga P

Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.