Should Ladies Pay to Use The Site

April 24, 2014 at 1.00am by in Online Dating

I have had a few emails lately from men who think that the ladies should have to pay to use the site. Currently men pay but for the ladies it is free.

These men state that it is a surefire sign of a scam when ladies are free to use the site and therefore they have no duty of care or responsibility and can abuse the site.

This is also a very common discussion on dating site forums and I am at a loss to understand the logic of this discussion. I am also not aware of any Ukraine dating sites that do ask the ladies to pay, so why would these men be so vehement?

Our viewpoint is that the average salary in Ukraine is $400 per month – PER MONTH. Ladies on this salary (and there are many on less) simply can not afford to use our services and find a foreign husband without the means to pay.

Yet, these ladies are exactly the ladies that we want on our site; they are hardworking, they value the income they earn, they know how to budget and they want to find a foreign husband, raise a family and achieve their life potential. If they were earning a higher salary and living comfortably then they would not be looking outside Ukraine to live.

If we were to charge ladies for using the site then the ladies who do join would need to use the site to recover the money they spent to join – and this means that they would be asking men for money and scamming.

I have answered each of these men, either directly through email, via the blog on the site or through forums and when I point out that ladies cant afford it and that only scammers will pay to use the site, the discussion ends.

I have had a few men write in supporting our views on this and you can see some of the replies in the blog discussions. Kelly went as far as to say that these guys “have rocks in their head”.

It seems that no matter how you provide the service, there are those that appreciate what you are doing and those that see it from another angle. I guess that will never change.


  • Mark


    I don’t have a problem with ladies not paying for the site. I understand that if ladies aren’t on the site there wouldn’t be men. I also can agree with you that if women have to pay that would bring on a whole bunch of other problems. Lastly, I understand that the financial restraints for the ladies would make it difficult for many of them to be on this site.

    However, I will say that my typical concern on sites such as this is what is happening with the money that I am paying? I know that sites such as this cost money to be run and I am ok with that and I also understand it is a business and a company needs to earn a profit or the business will cease to exist and I am fine with that as the purpose of a company must at some level have a goal of profitability unless it is a completely charitable organization.

    My typical concern is that I have and possibly other men is that while we are told that the ladies don’t get paid to be on this site I often wonder if they do get money on the side from the agencies or I wonder if they are fined for not talking to someone or not responding to a letter.

    I know you often say that this web site gives full disclosure for the cost of all items, but the one thing that the men don’t know is how much of our money gets funneled to the local agencies and then what do those agencies do with the money?

    Also, I can’t speak for other men, but I have never had a lady turn me down for a chat discussion. I know that chatting is a way to make a connection but it would seem that sooner or later someone would say no because they have already met their special someone so I can’t help but wonder if the ladies are required to talk to everyone who asks and then we wonder if the lady is strictly talking to us to earn the agency additional income or to actually make a connection.

    I think what men may think is if the ladies are paying then they have a vested interest in the process and maybe the concerns we have would be less, but I don’t think that is how the answer is resolved because of other things that could happen as per your suggestion.

    I think the better answer is as much full disclosure as you can give so that men don’t wonder if there is a hidden agenda.

    Anyway, these are just my thoughts on the topic. At the end of the day, there also has to be some trust in the services that we are purchasing and also trust in the entire process and this site or I might as well abandon the whole search process.

    • eric

      I understand the economics. I have been “looking into this” for years.

      I am serious, but not a sucker. Why would an 18 year old message a 46 year old man, I admit I am nice looking, lol but really!!

      My only reason for looking abroad is the difference in culture. I can find an American woman without a problem at all.

      I look for a woman with traditional values, simply put

    • Kelly Maybury

      Hi Mark

      I would very much like to offer some thoughts and also personal experience on the online dating process as i have experienced. The first thing I would like to do is to separate Ukraine Brides Agency itself from the local agencies where women register.

      I find this site to be amoungst the best around. I am on over 12 sites myself and I am swampped by ladies all the time. If you want to check post a profile up with no picture and see the responses you get. If you get a lot of responses ignore them. They are computer generated and just trying to make money from you. I can only speak from personal experience and tell you that this website does not require a lady to reply to nudges or letters, however, i cannot speak for the agencies.

      Think of it this way, a lady goes to the agency and gets all of her photographs professional done in order to attract men out of the many women all over the internet. The agency does not do this for nothing. There are set commercial rates that the agency get paid for video and text chats that each website must pay for. If you go onto a large site where they have trust levels and variable charges for letters ask yourself why. How come most of the 100% trust levels are the most expensive to open. Yes it is a big business and a lot of the men who go onto these website and even the group tours are sleazebags and sex tourists. I have no sympathy if these types get taken for a ride.

      Do your homework. Do not send any money until you have meet them. However I think you need to do something to stand out from the crowd. I sent my lady a US$300 tablet after about a fortnight of talking. Did i take a risk, Yes of course i did but it showed to her that of out of all the men she talks with I am showing by actions that I am sincere.

      I am sure that some agencies pay their ladies for answering letters and they work on commissions of about 30%. You can never tell what is actually going on over there. You just need to have a level of trust. Your lady will also feel the same way about you of course. I have sent a hamper and a cake to my lady. i got a photo of her getting her hamper but not one of her getting the cake. For all i know i paid for the cake and she never got it. But she said she did and that is good enough for me. As for the hamper i have a photograph of her with it but for all i know it was passed around the agency. I do not believe this for one moment because she tells me she got it.

      I said to my lady the other day that i could not send any more presents to her as i had to save up for the plan ticket. You know what she offered to send all the presents back and told me not to send here anymore presents as she did not wan me to think that she was here for the money or gifts. That says a lot to me about her intentions. I had a video chat the other day with her and she has to go to the agency to do that so we have only spoken twice via video as she has cancelled because she had the flue. So no commission that day either. I was watching her very well and she was playing with her hair and mimicing my movements and leaning forward. All three of which indicate interest.

      So i cannot say how you will know but just be realistic in your search and be a gentleman not a sleaszebag and invest in some trust. I know it is hard to do but it is no worse than dating in your own country. You get a lot of chat time for the price of a decent meal for two in a fancy restaurant and will probably learn more about them. In Australia we have no two years wait for a green card as we do not have such things. The moment my lady signs a marriage certificate she is entitled to half of my business which is worth over 7 figures and also can live in Australia as long as she wants. But it makes no difference under Australian law where you are born the same applies so the financial risk is just the same. Hope this helps. I you want to talk direct Keith has my details



    • Roca

      This is exactly what I think, I’m surprised with the amount of nudges and letters that I receive every time I’m online, I only answered one letter with the free credits because I don’t want to be scammed, Maybe I’ll buy a couple hundred of credits and see what happens, at the begging my concerns were the pretty girls that are around, they don’t seem to be real but who knows haha!!

  • Tim Haugen

    Just to add a little more perspective, I communicated with and met a woman from Kherson who was a paralegal. The amount that I earn in one day working as a nurse in the USA equalled her monthly income as a paralegal. And the cost of things there does not differ much from the cost of things here. So there is a huge disparity between income and cost in Ukraine. Under those circumstances, I would not want them to pay for being on this site, because no sincere, honest woman would be able to join.

  • Jim

    Hi all –
    Thought I would chime in. First off, I have been a member of this site for almost a year. Currently, I am not an active member since I have some family issues I am trying to work on and resolve.

    I have not talked with many ladies on this site, but all of them are great ladies and I have been very impressed with all of them. I do think Keith and his agency do a good job to make sure there are no scammers and has created a reputable site. At times, Keith has asked for feedback to make the site better, which shows his dedication.

    I do want to say, I am very disheartened at Kelly and Keith for the comment ‘rocks in their head’. I would like to think we are mature, professional adults who can discuss without the derogatory comments.

    Personally I do not think the ladies should pay for this site. I understand life can be difficult in Ukraine. But, that stated, I do think the ladies and the agency need to have some responsibility.

    Here is an example. Fortunately for me, financially I do well enough, but I ran some numbers to see at what point the salary has to be for a man to be successful in his search. If a man earning $50K in the USA tries to find a foreign bride, it can put a financial burden on the man. After taxes(FICA/Medicare/Property/SS), house payment, car payment, utilities, phone, internet, gas, retirement savings, and food, I calculated a man that earns approximately $50K a year would have about $500-$1K of disposable income each month. Now, if that man was corresponding with 3 ladies, and there was 1 letter and 1 30 minute text chat for each lady per week, it would cost about $200 a month. So, that’s about 20%. Everyone can determine if that is too high or too low. Using some rough numbers, I think that leaves about $500 a month for the man to save for a visit. After plane fair, translator costs, food, hotel, meeting setup and other fees, I think it can easily cost about $4K for a visit. That’s about 8 months of the man to save for a visit. That is a long time. Then think about if the man has to do some repairs on his house or car. Also think about how much gifts to the ladies will cost. When you think about Christmas, birthdays, New Years, Woman’s Day, buying gifts for a few ladies can really add up.

    This is one (there are many others) reason why I think more middle aged and older men are able to do this; they have the financial means. I do think the price of a letter is fair, but the price of the chats is high. I have mentioned to Keith a better approach would be to use a bulk rate pricing model, even if that pricing was for 1 man talking with 1 lady. I do not agree with his opinion that if a bulk rate was used, the site is not a reputable site. A reputable site is one that is honest. I understand that other sites use a bulk rate and they are not honest, that they want money. But, if this site had ladies that asked for money and left after receiving the money, would this site be reputable? I don’t think so. It has nothing to do with a bulk rate, but the quality of the ladies and agency.

    As I have told Keith, I think the site needs to change somewhat to promote relationships. As Kelly pointed out, there are technologies that enable people to communicate without this site, such as Skype. When I was talking with one lady, we were talking almost daily and I asked her if she had Skype. It would be better for me to pay for her contact details and then we can use Skype. But, she did not know about Skype. This is my issue. I do think the ladies are hardworking, so why can’t they use Skype? Why can’t the agency help them? It would be nice if the ladies had some responsibility like installing Skype. If I purchase the contact details, what do I get?

    The price of the contact details is $100. I think that is a little high, but the strange thing is I think it should be like $150. Then, after the man pays $150 for the contact details, which includes Skype, then the agency can give a discount on translator fees or a free night at a hotel in return when the man visits. This way, the man has an incentive to visit the ladies and the relationship will be able to move forward. I think the ladies are tired of men who never visit. As Kelly pointed out, men rarely visit.

    Hopefully this helps. It’s nice to hear others opinions.


  • Chris

    Having the ladies pay is a ridiculous idea, but a break for the men wouldn’t be bad either. It just so happens that I have an idea (or three), let’s say a man spends a preset amount on communications with one lady, for example $200, then with the lady’s authorization the man can get her contract information. That not only shows the men that you are serious about wanting them to find their future wives but it would also help reassure them that they weren’t being scammed.


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