The First Meeting

It is summer in Ukraine and the weather is absolutely magnificent, probably the warmest summer for many years. Not surprisingly, this is the time of year when many men make the trip to meet their ladies for the first time – the first meeting!

From our experience, many men make the trip with little preparation or advice and it does not go well. There are language and cultural differences that can cause problems if you have not traveled to Ukraine previously and misunderstandings and miscommunications can occur despite his best efforts to create a great impression.

We now proactively contact all men who are making the trip and offer advice and ongoing support during his trip to try and prepare him and make the trip as successful as possible. We have created a document that we share with all men who are traveling and I have copied its contents below.

Please take a moment to read this as we are sure that his will help you, not only if you are traveling, but also as part of your initial correspondence with the ladies.

The First Meeting.

When you decide to make your first trip to meet your lady in person it is important that you create a positive impression and be seen at your best – first impressions are vital. As you are likely to have only a short time to meet her and get to know her you want to find out as much about each other as possible before you must part and head back to your home.

We offer the following tips and advice to help you to maximize the opportunity and to help you both decide if you are soul mates.
In our experience, men who travel to meet a lady after only written correspondence (letters and text chat) can be disappointed after finally meeting and the same for the lady, because they have formed an impression about each other from just pictures and photos, which can be different from reality. If you contact us and advise us that you are planning to visit your lady we will always check that you have had video chats with her and recommend strongly that you do, before you finalise your travel.

A video chat gives you the chance to:
 check her English skills and her appearance
 her temperament and habits
 how the lady imagines life together with you – do you share the same interests and dreams
 her ability and willingness to emigrate
 her education and skills and the opportunity for her to work in another country
 ask about her children, their age and sex and also her desire to have more children
 check any health problems, including any responsibility for parents and family
 how often the lady wants to visit her homeland after moving to your country
 does she smoke or drink alcohol, etc.

When you are arriving in Ukraine, you need to decide whether to meet her after you have had time to freshen up at the hotel rather than meeting at the airport, even if it is romantic.

Once you arrive at your hotel, a nice touch would be to call her or message her and let her know that you have arrived safely and that you are looking forward to meeting her. Then rest and prepare for the first meeting.

It is essential that you set the right tone for your relationship by acting appropriately the first time you meet. If you do not know the city well, you may agree to initially meet at the hotel or a nearby café.

Always dress neatly and professionally for the first date – always! Ukraine women will always dress their best for a first date regardless of where you have agreed to meet and you must return the courtesy and look at your absolute best. Many women are immediately turned-off if a man has not taken the time to make a favorable impression on her.

Buy some flowers for her, but not yellow roses as this is a bad sign. Do not try to define the relationship with expensive gifts or perfumes. Show your love for her in your actions – your actions count for more than anything you could buy for her. Always be courteous and polite towards her and others. If she does not understand English, learn some Russian phrases just to put her at ease.

When first meeting a lady, you want to capture her interest and learn about each other without engaging in discussions that are controversial. Follow the old adage of “never talk about politics or religion” and avoid talking about past relationships, complaining excessively or making off-color jokes. Instead, keep things light, but don’t be afraid to share your passions and personality.

When first meeting a lady, bringing up potential common interests such as movies, television programs and music are good conversation starters. One good way to begin a conversation is to ask the lady about her favorites and then try to find common ground with her. If you have different media interests, share your perspective, and then ask her for suggestions for movies or music that you might also enjoy.

Although delving too deeply into each other’s backgrounds might be uncomfortable during a first meeting, it’s good to learn about a lady’s interests and passions. For example, you might want to ask her about her job or what was her major in university. Likewise, asking her about her hobbies, favorite restaurant and other preferences is a good way to make conversation and see what you have in common. In turn, share the basics of your own life without going into any details that might make her feel uncomfortable, such as bad experiences with past dates, financial difficulties or problems at work.

You might also want to share interesting personal experiences such as where you have traveled, or a something about your own hobbies and work. If you choose to tell stories, keep them brief and make sure you balance talking with listening. Keep in mind that if you only ask questions and never share anything about yourself, your contact with others will be more like interrogations than conversations.

It may be a good idea to just go for a small walk and enjoy each other’s company. If she does not understand English, the walk will have to be short so as not to have too many moments of silence. However, there is still much you can do to impress during this walk.

When you arrive at the restaurant and your interpreter arrives, try to keep the conversation general and not too heavy – we do not recommend making it a ritual. Most men use this first meeting as an opportunity to find out if they should pursue the relationship. Don’t fall into this trap. The lady will have her guard on during this meeting, and with the presence of the interpreter the environment is even more artificial. Things to talk about include your trip, something topical like what’s happening with her family and even something about you.

End the brief coffee, lunch or dinner by taking a walk back to your hotel. Try to do this without the interpreter. Everyone dislikes awkward silences yet there is much you can do. We had one client who spoke with so much emotion and action, his lady just enjoyed watching him, even though she did not understand any English. When you arrive at the hotel, thank her for the day and offer to get a taxi to take her back home.

In summary, the things to remember when meeting your lady for the first time are:
 There is a big difference between women who have met foreign men before and those who have not. If this is her first meeting she will be very confused and you need to accommodate this.
 Make her feel special by taking the time to dress well and prepare for the meeting.
 Your entire appearance (clean shaven, hair) must show you care about the relationship.
 Build the relationship on emotion by giving romantic gifts like flowers rather than expensive gifts like jewelry. True love is not defined by money.
 You must try to make the setting as relaxed as possible by using the meeting as an opportunity to find out more about her and her about you.
 Do not use the first meeting as an opportunity to discover how serious she is and if she will marry you. This is your first date and no one can form an opinion so quickly.
 Do not make your decision from the first meeting. Take your time -you will benefit from this.
 Remember that the second and third dates are as important as the first and each will be different and each will offer different opportunities to know each other better.

If you feel that your meeting with your lady was not pleasant or not as it should have been, please contact our support team immediately so that we can check with the lady and her agency and provide you with feedback following our investigation. Do not wait until you have returned home to report anything with which you are uneasy. First meetings can be awkward, especially with language and cultural difficulties and miscommunications can be cleared up quickly.

We hope that you find this advice useful and that you have a successful trip. Please give us constructive feedback about your trip and meetings as you help us create the best experience for all our members!

Nadezhda K

Nadezhda is a romantic who enjoys writing poetry and painting. She loves travelling and experiencing different cultures. In her free time, she volunteers at local shelters, practices yoga, and loves quiet moments with a good book and a cup of herbal tea.