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After 2 months of dating, what do you need to know about your Ukrainian lady?

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After two months of dating, you are obviously in the love-struck honeymoon stage of a new relationship. Congratulations! However, this is a crucial phase to see whether the relationship is moving towards the right place. Many people assume that their new relationships will only thrive, yet truthfully, if it’s going towards the wrong direction, people must find it out early and take action fast.

Is the attraction solid and real?

Never ignore a lack of chemistry at the beginning of a new relationship. Please note that chemistry is less likely to increase down the road if it’s absent now. So, you must make sure that the attraction is absolutely great at this stage of your relationship with a Ukrainian lady.

Also, you should ask yourself, “Do I like her lifestyle and respect her major decisions in life?

Usually, at the very beginning of a relationship, people may ignore red flags because love is blind. Sometimes, even certain annoying habits seem to be endearing when you are madly in love with someone new. But you have to be honest with yourself – does your new partner have any unhealthy behaviors that you can’t stand in the long term? Do you actually respect her value system?

Some people even think that their new partners’ strange moods or carelessness could be changed as time goes by. But as a matter of fact, if you can have a candid conversation with your new partner right now, those conflicts won’t become relationship-threatening in the future.

Speaking of the future, you also need to consider whether you both think of the same blueprint for the future, even though this is still the early stage of a relationship. More specifically, you need to make sure that you and your Ukrainian girlfriend are actually on the same page in terms of marriage and children. So, these questions are very paramount:

  1. Where does she want to live 2 years from now?
  2. What are her thoughts on children?

Don’t be afraid to ask her these questions within 2 months of dating. In other words, if in doubt, just discuss it honestly!

Does money matter in your relationship?

Finances and romantic relationships.

Realistically, oftentimes one affects the other, i.e. a romantic relationship may change your finances; your personal finances may change your relationship.

Yet this isn’t very surprising – money is merely another element in your decisions; it determines how you would like to live financially in a serious relationship.

Some people argue that money doesn’t matter as far as love is concerned. That’s awesome, so long as it’s actually true for you.

However, if you would like a particular way of life or you prefer saving money to buy an apartment, or you simply want to live a frugal lifestyle, how your wife manages finances will surely matter. Without considering this factor, there will be endless conflicts in this marriage. This is something that most individuals do not want to talk about, but it’s extremely common.

Therefore, you have to decide what kind of lifestyle you want to live in the first place.

Let’s say you have a clear savings plan for the next five years. Is your Ukrainian girlfriend also a saver? Or does she spend all her income every fortnight? In other words, is she making an effort to contribute to your shared blueprint, or is she making your life more challenging? Another way to look at this: Would you rather spend thousands of dollars on a cruise trip to New Zealand, or invest thousands of dollars right now so that you can live a good life when you retire?

I know these questions are big, and you need to know how your Ukrainian lady operate financially as well. Thus, whether money matters or not totally depends on your current plans in life.

Basically, you need a system which allows you to have clarity – your income can cover all your costs and help you reach your saving plans in future. As I see it, having a real plan now will save lots of stress later on in your relationship.

Manage the dynamics in your relationship.

If you are texting each other, please don’t be a ‘one-note’ dater. That is to say, you should avoid text messages such as “Hi. What are you doing? I’m so bored” and “I don’t know. What’s your suggestion?”

Those text messages are telling her to entertain you. That’s not an attractive trait because boring text messages do not show your personality and will only make her feel bored as well.

Here is a better text message, “I read Gala Darling’s book Radical Self-love, and now I’m thinking of learning tapping because I feel like experimenting with something new. Do you know anything about EFT?”

Apart from that, please do not take too much time to text back. Let’s say you wait for a few hours to text back in order to show how busy you are – that means you are literally playing games with her. That’s a huge mistake because Ukrainian women don’t like playing mind games – they are very honest individuals.

But if you are actually busy, you can tell her that you will talk to her later, and then speak to her properly when you are free. This is a much better approach.

In my opinion, texting should be used for entertainment and logistics. That means you can use text messages to flirt with her and to arrange a proper date. I don’t think it’s a good idea to use text messages for chatting because text messages are not supposed to replace real life conversations.

Besides, please do not brush off her compliments. If she says, “You look amazing today”, you are not supposed to say, “Oh, actually this shirt is pretty old”. Instead, you will say, “Thank you. You look great, too.”

Boundaries in love:

How much independence do you expect in this relationship? If she would like to spend 24/7 with you, can you accept that? (By the way, this is totally possible. For example, American author Ginie Sayles spends 24/7 with her husband.)

Are there any behavioral boundaries that you need to set? Examples: Is she always late for dates? How does she treat your family and friends? Does she care about your career goals? Is she supportive enough? Is she considerate and nurturing in the ways that you like?

If you have to sit down with your lady from Ukraine for a conversation about boundaries in this relationship, please remember to start from something specific, e.g. “When you were late for the date again, I felt that my time isn’t really valuable, and that makes me concerned. Do you mind arriving on time next time?” In this way, you show how you feel and tell her how she can change her behavior.

This is a great test because if she loves you, she will change her behavior in order to keep you!

 “When you have a tough conversation with your partner, remember to make it about the behavior rather than about anyone’s personality.”

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