Dating and relationship advice for men: signs of a loveless relationship

July 9, 2020 at 12.08am by in Dating advice
dating and relationship advice for men

Today I’d like to show you some typical signs of a loveless relationship. I will also talk about how to cope with that situation. If you are unhappy with your relationship, maybe you are in a loveless relationship without knowing it. This is actually a very common problem that most people do not want to talk about, but it’s important for us to be honest on this blog. The good news is there are a range of solutions to this typical issue in dating and relationships.

Typical Sign 1: You even have to ask if she loves you.

Please note that love is a strong and powerful emotion. If a woman loves you, you would surely know it. So, if you even have to ask whether she loves you or not, then oftentimes it just means she does not love you. This probably sounds very unpleasant, but it’s the uncomfortable truth.

Some men would ask their counsellors whether their girlfriends love them or not during their consulting sessions: “She has done this and that. Does she love me?”

The raw truth is their girlfriends did not love them – if their girlfriends loved them, they would certainly feel the love.

How to deal with it: Create a strong emotional connection with your lady.

This is easier said than done. Yet it can definitely be done!

You are totally responsible for your love life. You chose to date that woman. You decide how you communicate with her. You married your wife. No one took out a weapon to point at you when you made every decision. Thus, it is surely your responsibility when it comes to everything that is happening in your life. However, I’m not saying you are supposed to blame yourself.

Honestly, your girlfriend is not responsible for your happiness!

Truthfully, only you are totally responsible for your own happiness. Full stop.

A relationship is merely a way to make you happier if it’s going well. Also, it’s up to you when it comes to how you manage your relationship. This is my honest dating and relationship advice for men.

Yes, your girlfriend plays an important role in your relationship. Having said that, you could just influence her actions, behavior and emotions – you cannot control everything in this relationship.

Hence, it is truly your responsibility to create a solid and strong emotional connection with her. You must start from your actions!

First of all, you can create more shared activities with her. Maybe it’s a date night once a fortnight. Perhaps it’s a vacation in Australia for a few weeks. Never let your relationship get boring or extremely predictable.

Secondly, you should make her invest in this relationship. For example, you may ask for her help at times so that she also feels that she is wanted and needed. As she is contributing to this relationship, the emotional connection will keep growing, for somebody who has invested in something would always expect it to work well!

Last but not least, please remember to generously show your love! In your love life, you do not get what you want because you will only get what you give. Thus, you would be well-advised to show your love generously in the first place. Just tell her how much you care and how much you love your girlfriend. Then see how the dynamics change and evolve! This technique is also called Law of Reciprocity which is the most paramount dating and relationship advice for men.

Typical Sign 2: You two are not even friends.

I’m going to say something that could be slightly controversial – this sign is the biggest sign of a loveless relationship. Period.

Let’s say a relationship does not have a strong emotional connection. People can still fix it. Nonetheless, if two people aren’t even friends, then it is indeed a much bigger issue.

Here are two examples which illustrate couples that aren’t even friends:

Scenario A: Maria and Douglas have been in a relationship for several years. Their first year was seriously perfect. The second year was fine. The third year has become run-of-the-mill. Now they only have basic conversations about daily logistics, i.e. who will send coats to the dry cleaners, who will buy shampoo on their way back home at night, and so on. That is to say, they merely talk to each other when they really have to do so.

Scenario B: Rachael and Matthew have been together for years. The first three years was absolutely amazing. The final two years was miserable. They have had a lot of conflicts of interest in terms of personal finances. Consequently, they are literally enemies in a transaction.

To be honest, those 2 couples are not even friends in their loveless relationships.

How to deal with it: Assess if your relationship has the potential to make you satisfied.

In the first place, you must fully understand what you want to get from this relationship. Do you want true love? Do you want power? Do you want freedom?

If you two are not even friends, you have to make 2 lists: 1) pros of staying in this relationship; 2) cons of staying in this relationship.

Let’s say there are many more pros than cons. In this case, you should stay in this relationship and try your best to make it work – there is still something in it for you. You are the most important person in the universe! That’s the most straightforward dating and relationship advice for men.

Nevertheless, if there are many more cons than pros, then you probably have to end this relationship. Note that not every relationship is supposed to last for a lifetime. When you leave a relationship, it doesn’t mean this relationship has definitely failed, okay? To be honest with you, I would argue that your relationship has given you good value in many ways if you carefully think about it.

When Maria and Douglas met each other, it was absolutely right for both of them at that time. They moved to New York City and began their new careers in the Big Apple. Yet time has wings – both Maria and Douglas evolved and changed, so now they have become very different people. Their interests significantly changed, for they have been growing into 2 very different directions in life. But it doesn’t necessarily mean something is very wrong with Maria or Douglas. It just means their relationship is not right for them today.

When Rachael and Matthew met each other, it was also right for them because they did not have any conflict of interest financially at that time. They literally had a great time in the first few years of their relationship. However, after Matthew’s adult children from his previous relationship got very involved in his business, everything has become too complicated, so conflicts of interest suddenly became a big problem in their relationship.

It was no one’s fault. Everybody merely did what they could with what they knew/have at that time!

When you fall in love with someone, the love is true. When you leave someone, the absence of love is true as well. In other words, both decisions make complete sense because both decisions are made based on the reality you face.

“Dating and relationship advice for men – you should try your best & make peace with the rest!”

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