Online dating is very mainstream in this day and age, so are you ready to transform your internet dating techniques?
Don’t perform for women.
In 2001, I was a sales assistant in a bed shop where the employer didn’t like me as I knew nothing about the beds in the store because of lack of training. As a consequence, I wasn’t sure what to say and what to do when customers were there. The employer was angry, so he literally said to me, “Just fake confidence. This is a performance. Selling something is a game. You need to work on your game.”
Even though the employer didn’t like me very much, I think he is a marvelous salesperson because his game is really good. However, in my opinion, we shouldn’t perform when it comes to dating (dating and sales are quite similar in many ways: dating is the only scenario where two daters are selling and buying at the same time).
Look, you shouldn’t try to show off something so as to impress a lady deliberately, as showing off what you believe she likes will probably make you seem to be inauthentic. In 2013, I met a man who used a chat-up line to talk to me in the street. As I have good dating skills, I could see what was happening easily. Therefore, I was put off a bit: what he did actually told me that he must rely on the chat-up line in order to impress me – he must be a boring man. Frankly, the majority of ladies know when a guy is performing or not, for ladies’ intuition is accurate and strong. Truthfully, most ladies simply want a man who is genuine and normal & can connect with them in an authentic manner. Hence, my suggestion is to forget about pick-up lines and work on offering interesting information about yourself instead, e.g., “Actually, I wasn’t planning on coming to this dinner party tonight as I was busy working on a project which is due next week….” In other words, you are supposed to talk like a normal guy and you will look genuine and more relaxed. ?
Don’t make it all about her.
When a lady talks about herself all the time, it’s not a normal date. An elegant lady wouldn’t even want to talk about herself until she actually trusts you. In actuality, before she opens up, she needs to know some key information about you first. So, on the 1st date, you would be well-advised to begin the conversation & carry the conversation for a few minutes until she feels comfortable to talk about herself. After that, you should invite her to join the discussion, e.g., “I don’t know if you also had this experience before, but I was about to attend a salsa class….”
Yes, when she feels at ease, she will feel more comfortable chatting to you and talking about herself. ?
A bonus tip is to ask fewer questions. In other words, you should use more statements on the date.
Now let me show you a boring conversation first:
HIM: “How was your weekend?”
HER: “I was helping my sister to cook a big meal.”
HIM: “What did you cook?”
HER: “Traditional Eastern European food.”
HIM: “Why did you do that?”
HER: (feeling slightly creeped out / trying to think of a response that doesn’t give more details.)
That is an example of conversational death because the guy is asking too many questions.
By contrast, statements make a lady feel like she can trust you a bit more, and when you share information about yourself, she can find new routes for the discussion to flow down naturally. Take a look at this conversation below:
HIM: “I reckon you have an interesting job as you seem to be quite creative. I’m an engineer – very analytical and direct.”
HER: “But actually, I’m a math teacher.”
HIM: “Well. That sounds exciting. I guess being a math teacher means you don’t need to use a calculator at all.”
HER: “Sometimes I still use a calculator!”
In this conversation, he carefully listens to her conversational cues and adds further details, so they can connect organically.
“The primary goal of having high-quality conversations on a date is to connect with the Eastern European lady.”
Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
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