How to overcome challenges and become empowered in online dating

international dating

The pandemic has caused some issues that can’t be ignored: the global economic crisis, mental health issues, etc. When it comes to dating and relationships, there are also some concerns, but these can be overcome.

What is “learned helplessness”? (And how to overcome it):

According to modern psychology, learned helplessness means a state which happens after an individual has experienced highly stressful situations again and again – this individual starts to believe that they cannot change or control the situation; consequently, they have given it up.

Someone that I know has been divorced for three times by the age of 36. That is not common in that culture, so he was very frustrated and unmotivated when it comes to dating and relationships. As a consequence, he is not even looking for a partner (now he is in his 40s).

That is an example of learned helplessness.

Well, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying living a solo life is a problem. I actually think it’s perfectly fine if you prefer living a single lifestyle – that’s definitely okay. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I quite like Dr Peter McGraw’s podcast: Solo – the single person’s guide to a remarkable life in which Dr Peter McGraw and his guests talk about the beauty of being solo for now (and/or forever).

Having said that, if you prefer a partnered lifestyle, then you probably want to know how to overcome learned helplessness, especially when you have experienced stressful situations in dating and relationships & you don’t know how to keep trying.

Truthfully, a large number of men in western countries are not looking for western women anymore because of what they have experienced previously. Instead, they are looking for Eastern European women as they know Slavic ladies are better candidates – they are elegant ladies, ideal wives. As a result, these men are using international dating sites such as to meet suitable candidates from Eastern Europe.

In other words, when you find a certain type of women uninteresting, you don’t need to give up dating and relationships – all you need to do is to focus on meeting a different type of women who will offer you a completely different experience in your love life. A woman and another woman can be as different as an apple and an orange!

How to become empowered:

Some psychologists would ask their patients questions such as “What happened in your childhood?” I understand why psychologists want to know those answers – they need to find out the back story before they can give solutions. However, sometimes this can become co-compulsion or co-rumination. In other words, the psychologist is ruminating with the patient without making any real progress.

Yes, sometimes you have to explore your past in order to find out the answer to your question and identify relevant solutions. There is a time and place for these problem-solving activities. But in this article, I’d like to provide you with some unconventional techniques so that you can become more empowered today when it comes to online dating and relationships.

First of all, you must keep learning. According to neuroscience, when you are learning something new, your brain will form new pathways. That’s how you change your brain and change your life.

Personally, I always learn something new each day by reading a chapter of a book or watching a documentary. I think this is the best way to create new information in the brain and improve myself as a person.

No, I won’t forget my past. I can’t change my past. I can only learn from my past. Meanwhile, I am constantly working on myself because I can only control my current life and influence my future.

Second, online dating is actually a type of personal development. More specifically, online dating gives you access to many different candidates that you wouldn’t usually meet in real life. These people give you new opportunities that you may want to explore. By interacting with new people, you are experiencing something new and refreshing. This activity itself is empowering.

Third, offline dating is also a highly effective way to empower you. That can be going to a blind date, joining a speed dating event, etc. When you meet like-minded people in real life, you can make connections faster. Nobody is designed to be an island – you are biologically programmed to connect with others.

Last but not least, making more friends in general is also very empowering. Your network is extremely important in many ways. For example, you have to build your network before you need to find a new job, right? Dig the well before you’re thirsty!

“Learning, dating and socialising are powerful ways to empower you.”

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