International dating wisdom: How to start conversations effectively

international dating

When you are on an international dating site, you browse many profiles and decide to contact a woman. Should you comment on her dating profile in your first message?

  • Different women respond to different things.

If a woman’s dating profile has nothing interesting in it, you can simply say, “Hi [insert her username], How are you?” (Remember to mention her username in this message.) If her dating profile has nothing interesting in it but you still comment on something about her profile, you will become “too nice” (the “nice guy syndrome”), which hinders attraction. However, if her dating profile has something interesting in it, you can comment on that in your first message.

You are not supposed to look more excited than a woman while communicating with her online. So, please don’t use too many smileys and exclamation marks in your text messages. If you use too many smileys and exclamation marks in your messages, this habit indicates: A) You are eager to please women, so women don’t need to work hard in order to impress you. B) You are more excited than the woman that you are talking to, so she has higher perceived value. Unfortunately, this habit automatically puts women on a pedestal. Therefore, you’d better use smileys and exclamation marks less frequently so that you can turn the tables. A switched-on guy only uses smileys and exclamation marks when it’s actually necessary. For example, when a switched-on man chats with a lady who asked him how he was, he would say, “I feel sprightly. 😉 My name is Chris. What’s your name?” (He uses a smiley here because he wants to emphasize ‘sprightly’ in a playful way. Besides, if a woman tells him something that is a deal-breaker, he says, “Thank you for the honesty. I will think about this today and let you know. 😊” (He uses a smiley here because he is ending the conversation and will probably end the entire interaction with her due to the deal-breaker. He needs to make the ending pleasant so that if he actually wants to re-engage her attention later, he can still do that quite easily.)

Also, don’t say “Awesome” whenever she says something that you like. Instead, you can say “That’s cool” which implies that she is a cool woman because she responded to your message positively or demonstrated good behavior. As she wants to be cool, she is very likely to follow your direction even further.

Remember to be well-calibrated. The way you talk should match the woman’s style reasonably well. You two are supposed to be on the same wavelength.

  • How to approach women online:

First of all, you can use some uncommon words. You ask “How are you?” at the beginning of a conversation, and then the woman will say something like, “I’m good. How are you?” Then you can say, “I feel sprightly. 😊 I’m Chris. What’s your name?” ‘Sprightly’ is an uncommon word for a common answer, so the woman finds this response refreshing and very memorable. Many women would be blown away by that word. This strategy is simple and effective.

Second, please note that boring questions don’t require boring answers. If a woman asks you “How was your weekend?”, you can say something like, “I just had the most life-changing chocolate cake in my life, so I’m in a very good mood now. You should totally try the chocolate cake at ABC Café – it’s absolutely perfect.” Then she will talk about chocolate cake / ABC Café, and then you will say, “I’m going to ABC Café on Tuesday afternoon again. Would you like to join me? The chocolate cake there is definitely divine.” – Now you ask her out naturally simply because she asked “How was your weekend?” (This doesn’t have to be a chocolate cake or ABC Café; it’s just an example.) Note that this strategy applies to all human interactions. It’s not just about dating.

“Frankly, approaching women online isn’t hard because everyone knows why everyone is on a dating website. It’s even easier on because this international dating site is all about introducing Eastern European women to men like you for serious relationships. “

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