If online dating is a new concept in your world, this blog post will surely help you figure out how to find the right candidate online effortlessly.
The right person VS the wrong person:
How do you know if someone is the wrong person?
Usually, there are a few signs that you can pay attention to:
- Your intuition tells you that she is the wrong person. Please always trust your intuition because your intuition is always right. Most people question their intuition nowadays. This is because everyone has been taught to be analytical at school, but our intuition is the most powerful tool that we should utilize.
- She tells you that she is not sure. Remember: if she tells you that she is not sure, your response is supposed to be “Then I’m definitely not sure.” In other words, when a woman tells you that she is not sure whether this is going somewhere, you have to be very sure. She is the wrong person because the right person would be completely sure.
Frankly, you don’t need to spend hours or days trying to figure out why someone isn’t the right person in your online dating journey. Let’s say you are the CEO of a company. If a new staff member isn’t performing (they are too slow/incompetent/unintelligent), you obviously wouldn’t visit their parents to ask how that person was raised or spend a week thinking about why this new staff member isn’t quite right. Likewise, in your dating life, there can be some wrong candidates and that’s okay. All you need to do is to stop interacting with the wrong candidates so that you can move on to the next chapter of your dating life.
Note that the right person is totally sure – she knows this relationship is a long-lasting, happy and healthy relationship. Your intuition also tells you that she is the right person.
When someone is emotionally unavailable….
These days whenever a guy asks me why a woman is emotionally unavailable, I clearly tell him that the term “emotionally unavailable” is not even a meaningful phrase because it can mean she doesn’t open up/she doesn’t value the connection/she is boring/she is too busy… That is to say, this phrase is extremely vague and doesn’t really mean anything.
My advice is when somebody is emotionally unavailable, you just have to move on because the right person certainly wouldn’t make you feel this way at all.
When I was in my early 20s, I went out for a dinner date. It was my first date with that guy. I rushed to the restaurant because I didn’t want to be late. However, after I arrived at the restaurant, I received a text message from him, “Haha! My neighbour was showing me their CD collection, so I’ll arrive in about 15 minutes.”
He didn’t even apologize and I couldn’t see why that’s a “haha” situation. When he arrived, he was actually more than 25 minutes late and he asked me, “Hey. How are you?” He still didn’t apologize. I knew everyone is on their best behaviour on the first date. Therefore, he wouldn’t get any better & I never wanted to date that person. Dating isn’t about just dating a person; it’s about dating the entire situation.
I honestly explained how I felt to him. “To be honest with you, I’m kind of angry right now because you are late for the first date. You didn’t even apologize. I’m not in the mood for dinner now. Sorry.” Then we had a drink and left.
As I see it, candour is paramount in every relationship. You might think I made that a big deal. But if he couldn’t even apologize for something like that on the very first date, I’m sure he can’t build a healthy relationship in the long term.
Hence, during your online dating journey, I’d like you to ask yourself, “Is this person able to apologize?”. If the answer is no, that means you deserve someone better.
“Online dating gives you many options; you would be well-advised to filter candidates and find the one according to your intuition and your standards.”
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Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
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