No relationship is ever perfect. There will be many times when you argue with your partner and end up wishing that they could your mind. You’ll wish they know how you were feeling, what you were thinking, and what you’d want them to do instead. This is where the concept of love languages comes in.
This blog will give you insights into what makes your partner tick! It will give you insight into understanding your partner better, especially when it comes to their own understanding and expression of love. Understanding these things can better help you deal with the differences in your relationship.
Dr Gary Chapman is the one who coined this term, and according to him, people express and interpret love in five universal ways. He also believes that each and every person has a primary and secondary love language. I know this sounds super interesting, I was quite fascinated by the whole thing myself. If you can’t wait to find out your own and your partner’s love language, read on.
1. Words of affirmation
Using words to affirm and build up people is one of the most effective ways for you to express love emotionally. When you use words of appreciation or verbal compliments, you are also using one of the most powerful tools in communicating love. It does not have to be very complicated. You can use very simple words and statements to show that you appreciate your partner.
Words of affirmation is one of the most basic aspects of the five languages of love.
2. Quality time
We all know that time is one of the most precious gifts you can share with someone who means so much to you, whether it is your partner, parents, siblings, or friends. And when you say “quality time,” that means you are giving your undivided attention to a person without any distractions like devices, television, and everything else. Quality time means spending time together, just the two of you. It lies in the simple things like taking a walk or even just enjoying your sweet time over a delicious meal.
3. Receiving gifts
There are some people who feel they are most loved when they are given tangible gifts. However, this does not mean that the person is into material things, but there are just types of people who feel that they are more appreciated when they are given presents. In addition, love revolves around the spirit of giving, which means that gifts are also one of the most visible symbols of love.
When somebody gives you a gift, you will be able to tell that the person remembers you or is thinking of you. And it does not necessarily have to cost a huge amount of money because the most important thing is that you are thought of or you are also thinking about the person. Even if you are not naturally a gift giver, this is something that you can still learn to do.
4. Acts of service
There are also some people whose basis of love relies on a person’s actions instead of words. Some individuals value deeds and actions as expressions of love, trusting actions more than words. Explore numerous ways to express the language of service to make your partner feel loved. From lending a helping hand to proactive chores, find meaningful ways to show you care without being asked.
5. Physical touch
Physical touch is also considered to be one of the most powerful tools in communicating emotional love. And it does not only apply to couples. This fact also holds true for parents, children, siblings, and friends. For some married couples, holding hands, kissing, and other acts of intimacy are their preferred way to express their emotional love to one another. However, there are people who have a greater need to feel physical touch because, without it, they have a tendency to feel unloved. But you do not necessarily have to constantly do this even when you’re in public. Just a little touch or everyday physical connection will be appreciated.
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Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.
Oh dear!
It is important to distinguish the symptom of a manifested love, from a mechanised reproduction of it. There is a difference between a heartfelt spontaneous compliment vs. the mechanised “try giving at least one compliment per week to your spouse. Make a note of the compliment so you don’t use it twice” (taken straight from the book).
Many (if not all) of us have grown past the teenage phase of playing cheap games and tricks to win a person’s affection. Such antics do yield positive results, which do not last. Sooner or later, a person’s true nature begins to emerge and inconsistencies in their projections of such tokens of love begin to grow more prominent.
True tokens of affection are born through the development and maturity of a person’s inner character. This cannot be artificially accelerated. It is worth cultivating that emotional intelligence and appreciation/acceptance of the other person. It is through this maturity, that the symptoms of these ‘love languages’ manifest.
Use this book as a stepping stone to get a new perspective – but do not forfeit your ability to think. Having made this mistake myself in the past, I would warn anyone of developing an over-reliance on a set of ‘recipes’ that produce mechanised insincere gestures.
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