What to avoid on a date with a Slavic lady and some bonus ideas

So, you are going out for the very first date with someone special. ? And here is a list of good ideas for you! ?

• Useful tips for the first date:

Before going out for the first date, you should work on your grooming and look at yourself in the mirror. But after leaving the house, you’d better forget your appearance and relax!

If you are rude to the waiter / waitress, your date may assume that is your real attitude because you are simply on your best behavior on the first date in order to impress the person you are dating, but when the initial spark is gone, you will probably reveal your real attitude. Isn’t that terrifying?

Please don’t allow your phone to be the third person on the date. Your date might think you are not interested in them, whereas checking your phone constantly is just a habit.

There is a time and a place to talk about your ex (but certainly not on the first date). You need to avoid establishing anyone / anything that is sexually threatening from your date’s point of view.

Swearing too much on the first date is inappropriate. You have to show some basic respect because you are literally meeting with a stranger – it’s your first date. Clearly, this is an important social skill (and common sense).

If you are a man, you are supposed to pay on the first date. I’m not saying men and women aren’t equal; I mean as a man, paying the bill on the first date makes a woman feel protected. She needs to know that you can look after her, even though she doesn’t really need you to look after her. 

But if you are a woman, you should offer to pay. He probably wouldn’t let you pay anyway; nevertheless, offering to pay makes him feel that you are taking care of his wallet, so he will appreciate you even more.

Giving unwanted life advice is maddening. Unless your date asks for your advice, please don’t give unwanted advice on the first date – your date isn’t looking for a teacher; they are looking for a romantic partner.

• What’s next?

When dating becomes a real relationship, the most paramount conversation is to call your partner out whenever they violate your standards. Although this doesn’t sound very pleasant, it is the most effective way to establish and maintain your standards.

For example, let’s say your No. 1 priority is your health, so you don’t stay up late at night. However, your partner wants to invite their friends over for drinks late at night every Friday and every Saturday. In this situation, you have to let your partner know that you can’t be involved in that activity. In other words, if your partner expects you to do that with their friends at home every weekend, it’s not going to happen. They have to go out instead of keeping you awake until 2am.

Note that whenever you communicate something like that to your partner, your attitude has to be polite and kind, but your actual message must be clear and firm.

• Look after your boundaries.

Henry Cloud wrote a book called Boundaries in Marriage in which the author states that in order to make a long-term relationship work, you cannot have your boundaries crossed.

If your partner’s ex is still involved in your life because their ex still asks your partner for advice, calls your partner for long conversations on the phone every week and meets your partner for Christmas, it means they are still together psychologically. Now you are about to start a serious relationship with your partner, so you should take care of your boundaries and let your partner know how to manage their ex properly so that your boundaries are looked after.

• Have a conversation about finances.

Money is a taboo topic in our culture. Interestingly, research shows that money is the No. 1 reason for divorce in almost every country in the world. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, money is a basic human need because financial security is a part of safety. Love is a high-level human need as people only pursue love when they already feel safe. No wonder when money becomes a problem, people don’t want love anymore – only when a lower-level need is met can people pursue a higher-level need. This isn’t a pretty topic, but it’s the truth.

“You’d better have a good understanding of your partner’s financial situation before starting a serious relationship – find out their financial habits / if they have any debt.”

Olga P

Olga loves travelling and learning about different cultures. She enjoys taking photos, trying new foods, and spending time outdoors. A skilled writer, Olga is a language enthusiast as well. She enjoys meeting new people from around the world and trying out new recipes in her kitchen.